The dinner party that should have never been

I could add a picture, but I won't. It is too grotesque.
The day started off fine and I had no expectations for dinner, except that it would have to be somewhat easy since I was going to be out of the house almost all day.
I started the day with a morning birthday party for a classmate of Amanda. We had a good time and the weather, although a bit warm, was perfect for a party in the park.
On the way home we had to stop at the market to pick up some things for t-ball because it was our week for snacks. When I passed the freezer section, I saw a large frozen lasagna that called my name. I don't know why. I'm not the frozen lasagna type of person, but I quickly thought, that would be good to pop in the oven after the game and I don't have to do much.
We got home -- full of sugar and excitement from bouncing around in a Dora bounce house -- and quickly had to head out the door for t-ball.
T-ball was hot and the team has improved. My mom stopped by to watch the game and I invited her to dinner -- even though my house was a wreck and I only had a giant frozen lasagna.
She decided to stop at the market for some garlic bread and chianti.

We get home. Lasagna says it takes 2 hours to cook. Holy shit! Two hours -- it was already 4:45. So I ditched that idea and opted for some tortellini (kids cheer) and a salad.
Fine. Husband decides to cook dinner -- even better.
We sit down to dinner when out of the corner of my eye I spy the dog throwing up on the living room carpet. Bon Appetite!
Clean up the mess. Enjoy a nice dinner.
Kids clear their plates and begin horsing around in the living room. My mom and I were chatting at the table -- with our 2nd glasses of chianti -- when something flew across the room and knocked a wine glass off the table.
Red wine splattered everywhere. My mom's initial reaction was, "Oh my God!". To which my daughter, the person who flung the dog bed across the room, responded by screaming hysterically.
I tried to calm her down before I looked at the damage.
I'm not the type of person who gets mad over spilled milk or things like that.
But when I went to the other side of the table and saw the disaster, my mouth just hung open. Dots of red wine were -- are -- everywhere.
I could have kicked myself for not buying the bottle of "wine away" when I was at Cost Plus yesterday. I saw the bottle and said to myself, "I rarely drink red wine and I've never spilled any, I don't think I'll need this."
I quickly got online to see what could be done. I sprinkled salt all over the stains to stop them from absorbing. Then I poured the other bottle of wine my mom brought (a white wine) all over the mess -- something about the white wine counteracting the red.
I don't think it's gonna work, folks. The carpet is a disaster. It looks like someone was shot at my dinner table.

After dinner we sat outside and were talking when my daughter started wailing (again). Apparently she walked with barefeet on some wood chips and she got a bunch of splinters. My husband had to hold her down while I extracted them.
Overall it was a nice night, but now I have an injured daughter and a ruined carpet and I didn't even get to eat any damned lasagna.