I've been feeling so overwhelmed this summer. Overwhelmed with work and kids and projects that have overtaken our dining room table.
This afternoon I had a realization that it doesn't have to be like this. Yes, I still have kids and I still have a job (thank god!), but I don't have to take on all this extra junk.
A few weeks ago I came up with what I thought was a pretty good idea for something I could work on at night and hopefully bring some extra cash into the Crouse Haus. The only catch, however, is that the idea requires someone with crafty talents. I am seriously lacking in the crafty talent area, but I thought I could fake it.
I was talking to my mom about the project yesterday and I told her my concerns. Then she
told me about a documentary of Woody Allen she watched the other night. In it he said something to the effect of either you have it or you don't. This could be applied to many things like writing skills, acting, painting, comedy, music, etc....
I think it was sort of her way of telling me that I may not have "it". Not that I might not have "it" in some other area of my life, but this particular project might not be for me. Some other people might say, "well, gee, your mom is a bit harsh." But her telling me this little tidbit about Woody Allen might have actually set me free. It might save me from dumping money into a venture that will go no where. And this venture might actually just be an excuse for me to stop doing what I really want to do. The book I've been working on stalled, so I think "finding" this project was a way for me to avoid it. I know it won't come easy, but writing this book is something I know I can do, unlike decoupage.
Speaking of the crafty arts, the kids and I were in the backyard today doing tie dye. We've done one the past few summers. So, I went out and bought the kit from Joann's and we made a big mess. The kids had fun and now my fingers are totally stained because the gloves they include in the kit don't work for shit. I'm going to search online for some way to remove the dye from my fingers.
After work and tie dying was finished, I sat down to watch Annie with the kids. Now, this is probably the film I have watched the most times in my life (Breakfast Club comes in second and Friday, thanks to my husband, comes in 3rd). I saw the film opening weekend with my late grandmother at Grauman's Chinese theater -- then, my childhood friend, Jennifer, and I proceeded to watch it on video like 40 times. We LOVED the movie and the songs, but I don't ever remember getting choked up one time. Cut to tonight -- I watched it with my two children for the first time (they loved it!) and I got choked up more than once. When Daddy Warbucks is singing that little "Maybe" part, I was about to start sobbing. I don't think it was the fact that I was watching it with my own children and I was feeling sentimental... it was the grownup in me imagining what it must feel like watching a child you love walk out the door possibly forever. Damn! Anyway, I'm so stoked that my kids didn't think the movie too lame. You never know nowadays because there is so much crap offered to kids -- everything is non-stop action.
Today was good. Have a wonderful night!
Thursday, July 09, 2009
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Hey Summer! I'm So Over You!
Yes folks, it hasn't quite been a week and the honeymoon period of summer has officially ended -- there was yelling today. We actually had a nice first few days of summer -- the days were filled with getting Amanda's used bike fixed up so it looks more like hers, birthday parties and riding bikes everywhere.
Yesterday was a really, really good day. The kids actually acted like they were friends with each other. I got some work done in the morning and then we rode bikes down to the park and had a picnic and just lounged in the sun for a few hours. They rode their bikes home and there wasn't one complaint about going uphill. In the afternoon they played and I did a bit more work and then they rode bikes outside in the evening. Perfect day.
Today was a different story. The fighting started as soon as they woke up. I knew I had to get a few hours of work in before we headed off to the free movie (free movies all summer!) and the kids were determined to put me in a foul mood. They succeeded. The afternoon was filled with fighting, tattling, and grubby fingermarks on the walls.
Camp starts in a week and I cannot wait. It will be good for the kids to get out for a few hours every day and I won't feel guilty about yelling at them while I try to fit in as much work as possible. The little nerds haven't heard that there is a recession going on and mommy needs to bring home some bacon.
Yesterday was a really, really good day. The kids actually acted like they were friends with each other. I got some work done in the morning and then we rode bikes down to the park and had a picnic and just lounged in the sun for a few hours. They rode their bikes home and there wasn't one complaint about going uphill. In the afternoon they played and I did a bit more work and then they rode bikes outside in the evening. Perfect day.
Today was a different story. The fighting started as soon as they woke up. I knew I had to get a few hours of work in before we headed off to the free movie (free movies all summer!) and the kids were determined to put me in a foul mood. They succeeded. The afternoon was filled with fighting, tattling, and grubby fingermarks on the walls.
Camp starts in a week and I cannot wait. It will be good for the kids to get out for a few hours every day and I won't feel guilty about yelling at them while I try to fit in as much work as possible. The little nerds haven't heard that there is a recession going on and mommy needs to bring home some bacon.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Shiny, New Things and Last Day of Kindergarten
My son is spoiled and I'm not sure what to do about it. I consider myself a nice person -- I try to always be courteous to others and I definitely have never made myself out to be better than someone else because I have more. So, I don't know where Lucas gets it except maybe it is because he is the first-born and he got a lot of attention for 2 years.
Anyway, he got a rad new bike last summer. It is a good bike -- shiny and red with yellow lightening bolts. He loves it and just learned to ride it with no training wheels.
We noticed last month that my daughter has outgrown her tricycle. I went on a mission to find a bike for her. Things are very tight around here, so I wanted to get a used bike. I looked on Craigslist for about a month when I finally scored a girls Trek bike for $40. It is pink and cute, but the seat needs to be replaced, as well as the basket. I picked the bike up yesterday and my daughter was so excited -- she's barely been off the thing since and she even wanted to sleep with it next to her bed. The first thing my son said when he saw it? "It's not shiny and new like mine. I got a new bike." What a little brat! I had a long talk with him but I feel like it went in one ear and out the other. Everything he gets is new. New clothes because he is the first boy cousin, new toys because he is our first child.... Amanda gets hand-me-down clothes from her cousins and used toys from her brother. She didn't seem bothered by the fact that her bike is used -- like I said, she loves it. But I am bothered by my son's attitude. I don't know where he picked it up. My husband and I try to set good examples with our own behavior.
I guess the answer might be to get all of his "stuff" (which we are trying to cut down on anyway) used.
But Lucas is 99% a really great kid. He is sweet and funny (so funny) and energetic and now he is no longer a Kindergartener. Today was his last day at his school with his most amazing teacher. I dropped him off and we had a small gift for Mrs. Smith. I got a big choked up when I went in to say hello to her and her eyes and nose were red already from all goodbyes she was saying. I wish every child could have a Mrs. Smith as their first teacher. I wish Lucas could have her again next year.
I went to pick Luc up a bit early because Mrs. Smith said we could come in anytime during the day. She was handing out scrapbooks she had made herself and I started crying again. Each book had pictures of the child over the year. There were examples of their work so parents could see the progress they had made. I can just picture her putting these together for each child and my heart grows.
We'll miss you Mrs. Smith and we are so grateful for all that you have taught our son.
Anyway, he got a rad new bike last summer. It is a good bike -- shiny and red with yellow lightening bolts. He loves it and just learned to ride it with no training wheels.
We noticed last month that my daughter has outgrown her tricycle. I went on a mission to find a bike for her. Things are very tight around here, so I wanted to get a used bike. I looked on Craigslist for about a month when I finally scored a girls Trek bike for $40. It is pink and cute, but the seat needs to be replaced, as well as the basket. I picked the bike up yesterday and my daughter was so excited -- she's barely been off the thing since and she even wanted to sleep with it next to her bed. The first thing my son said when he saw it? "It's not shiny and new like mine. I got a new bike." What a little brat! I had a long talk with him but I feel like it went in one ear and out the other. Everything he gets is new. New clothes because he is the first boy cousin, new toys because he is our first child.... Amanda gets hand-me-down clothes from her cousins and used toys from her brother. She didn't seem bothered by the fact that her bike is used -- like I said, she loves it. But I am bothered by my son's attitude. I don't know where he picked it up. My husband and I try to set good examples with our own behavior.
I guess the answer might be to get all of his "stuff" (which we are trying to cut down on anyway) used.
But Lucas is 99% a really great kid. He is sweet and funny (so funny) and energetic and now he is no longer a Kindergartener. Today was his last day at his school with his most amazing teacher. I dropped him off and we had a small gift for Mrs. Smith. I got a big choked up when I went in to say hello to her and her eyes and nose were red already from all goodbyes she was saying. I wish every child could have a Mrs. Smith as their first teacher. I wish Lucas could have her again next year.
I went to pick Luc up a bit early because Mrs. Smith said we could come in anytime during the day. She was handing out scrapbooks she had made herself and I started crying again. Each book had pictures of the child over the year. There were examples of their work so parents could see the progress they had made. I can just picture her putting these together for each child and my heart grows.
We'll miss you Mrs. Smith and we are so grateful for all that you have taught our son.
Monday, June 01, 2009
Disappointment
I think I've come a long way from my teen years. I am totally able to roll with disappointment. Can't make a lunch date... no problem, I understand. Don't have my favorite halibut sushi on the menu anymore... no biggie. No money for vacation this year... we'll have a "staycation". You get the idea. I don't get too upset when plans change or I don't get my way.
I wasn't always this way, and maybe having kids has something to do with it. They are ready to disappoint you from day one.
Oh... you thought nursing was going to be a breeze -- well, Mom, let me tell you, I'm going to make it much more difficult than you thought.
Yes, I know you read that book about making your own baby food and it's all organic and home-made and you spent hours in the kitchen... I'm still not going to eat it.
If I was my previous self, I would have taken to my bed for a week over the fact that my daughter never crawled. But something about having kids forces you to rethink how you deal when things just don't go your way. When you are pregnant for the first time, you have all these dreams about how the early years will be. And for the most part, reality doesn't match the dream -- at least it didn't for me. Those first years were wonderful and crazy and hard and I love my kids, but the reality definitely didn't mirror the dream -- except for the love part. I dreamed about tremendous love and reality far exceeded my dreams.
So why am I bringing all of this up now? Tonight an old friend was supposed to drop by for dinner. I haven't seen her in something like 14 years. She was one of my best friends in high school, but then, you know, someone moves 3000 miles away and after a few years it is easy to lose touch. We did. I found her again through facebook. Whoo-hoo. I've had some correspondence with her and then a few weeks ago she said she would be in town and wanted to come by for dinner.
I planned a yummy meal (beef bourguignon) and even picked up the house a bit. I didn't really care too much about the food, I just wanted to see my friend again. I wanted to give her a big, humungous hug. It's now 8:45 and she was to be here at 7. I fed my husband and poured myself a glass of a good Malbec. I now wish I hadn't opened it because I know I won't drink more than one glass. Anyway, I am disappointed and I know that there is a reason she couldn't make it. Stupid me didn't ask for her cell phone so I could call her and I can't call her home because it's like almost midnight there. My kids were sweet... they gave me hugs and said, "mommy, I'm sorry your friend couldn't come." They were comforting me because if one of their friends canceled on a play date, they would be a mess. But I'm not a mess. I'm not sad about the dinner that I didn't eat or the hors dourves that are sitting on the counter. I just wanted to reminisce. Anyway, I hope she is OK and that we'll have a chance to see each other some time.
So now, I'll finish my glass of Malbec and sit on the sofa with hubby.
I wasn't always this way, and maybe having kids has something to do with it. They are ready to disappoint you from day one.
Oh... you thought nursing was going to be a breeze -- well, Mom, let me tell you, I'm going to make it much more difficult than you thought.
Yes, I know you read that book about making your own baby food and it's all organic and home-made and you spent hours in the kitchen... I'm still not going to eat it.
If I was my previous self, I would have taken to my bed for a week over the fact that my daughter never crawled. But something about having kids forces you to rethink how you deal when things just don't go your way. When you are pregnant for the first time, you have all these dreams about how the early years will be. And for the most part, reality doesn't match the dream -- at least it didn't for me. Those first years were wonderful and crazy and hard and I love my kids, but the reality definitely didn't mirror the dream -- except for the love part. I dreamed about tremendous love and reality far exceeded my dreams.
So why am I bringing all of this up now? Tonight an old friend was supposed to drop by for dinner. I haven't seen her in something like 14 years. She was one of my best friends in high school, but then, you know, someone moves 3000 miles away and after a few years it is easy to lose touch. We did. I found her again through facebook. Whoo-hoo. I've had some correspondence with her and then a few weeks ago she said she would be in town and wanted to come by for dinner.
I planned a yummy meal (beef bourguignon) and even picked up the house a bit. I didn't really care too much about the food, I just wanted to see my friend again. I wanted to give her a big, humungous hug. It's now 8:45 and she was to be here at 7. I fed my husband and poured myself a glass of a good Malbec. I now wish I hadn't opened it because I know I won't drink more than one glass. Anyway, I am disappointed and I know that there is a reason she couldn't make it. Stupid me didn't ask for her cell phone so I could call her and I can't call her home because it's like almost midnight there. My kids were sweet... they gave me hugs and said, "mommy, I'm sorry your friend couldn't come." They were comforting me because if one of their friends canceled on a play date, they would be a mess. But I'm not a mess. I'm not sad about the dinner that I didn't eat or the hors dourves that are sitting on the counter. I just wanted to reminisce. Anyway, I hope she is OK and that we'll have a chance to see each other some time.
So now, I'll finish my glass of Malbec and sit on the sofa with hubby.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Crouse Haus Checking In
Shit it's been a long time since I posted something here. Nothing major going on around the Crouse Haus, just busy with every day life.
Mother's Day was absolutely perfect. I was woken up by Luc quite early because he wanted to see if the tooth fairy had stopped by our house. Amanda lost her first tooth on Saturday night (it shouldn't have been lost this early, but that's another story). Luc had his 3rd visit from the fairy on Thursday and he wanted to see what Amanda got. I was not in great form because Aunt Molz was staying for the weekend for a surprise to our mom. Needless to say, Molz and I drank a bit of wine and beer (and prepared food for our picnic the next day) and 5:45 on Sunday morning was a wee bit early for me. So, I told Luc to go back to sleep. He came in again around 6:15 and said he was starving, so I told him to go fix himself breakfast. He came back a few minutes later and said he fixed breakfast for me. He had poured about four pieces of Life cereal in a bowl with some milk. What a cutie. I turned on the tube for him and hit the bed again. I tried to get back to sleep but couldn't. But I couldn't get up either... Phil would kill me if he found me up early on Mother's Day. So, I faked sleep and waited for Phil to get up. He finally did and I heard him fiddling in the kitchen. I heard the coffee brewing and then the kids coming in with breakfast. Thank God! It was very sweet. A bagel and fried egg and a cup of coffee is my dream breakfast.
We quickly packed up a picnic lunch and headed out to a state park to meet the whole fam. It was awesome. All 6 of my siblings, all my nieces and nephews, my mom and dad were there. We ate, talked shit, hiked and took a bunch of pictures. Everyone stayed longer than I expected and I was very, very happy. Then, my mom wanted to take Molz and I out for a small bite for dinner (well... really wine) at the Four Seasons. La De Da! Phil took the kids home and us ladies had a nice evening drinking wine and eating fancy food.
I just love having my little sis here to visit and I always feel like something is missing when she's gone:(
We've been busy with t-ball and playdates and trying to pull weeds. I seriously freak out every time I walk into the yard. I could spend 8 hours a day for a week and still there would be weeds everywhere. My garden just seems to really be the best place for them to grow. I never had this problem in my old place... but I had a gardener back then. I think I might have to admit defeat and just get the really big suckers every once-in-a-while.
The book I've been working on is coming along. I go days where I really don't have any time at all to write and then I'll find a night where all the dishes and laundry are done and I can hunker down for an hour or two and really get some stuff done. I don't know if I'll be finished by the end of the year, but the progress I'm making is really helping me feel good about the project.
There is another project I don't feel so good about. One of my dear friends is pregnant and I decided I want to crochet a blanket for her first child. Problem is I don't know how to crochet (or knit) and I am the least crafty person I know. I bought some books and it seems like it should be easy, but I can't seem to get the knack. I have tons of projects laying around that just don't look right. I'm going to try this weekend to figure out what I'm doing wrong. If anyone out there knows how to crochet and can send a beginner a few tips on how to keep count of the stitches, I'd appreciate it.
Crouse Haus Out!
Mother's Day was absolutely perfect. I was woken up by Luc quite early because he wanted to see if the tooth fairy had stopped by our house. Amanda lost her first tooth on Saturday night (it shouldn't have been lost this early, but that's another story). Luc had his 3rd visit from the fairy on Thursday and he wanted to see what Amanda got. I was not in great form because Aunt Molz was staying for the weekend for a surprise to our mom. Needless to say, Molz and I drank a bit of wine and beer (and prepared food for our picnic the next day) and 5:45 on Sunday morning was a wee bit early for me. So, I told Luc to go back to sleep. He came in again around 6:15 and said he was starving, so I told him to go fix himself breakfast. He came back a few minutes later and said he fixed breakfast for me. He had poured about four pieces of Life cereal in a bowl with some milk. What a cutie. I turned on the tube for him and hit the bed again. I tried to get back to sleep but couldn't. But I couldn't get up either... Phil would kill me if he found me up early on Mother's Day. So, I faked sleep and waited for Phil to get up. He finally did and I heard him fiddling in the kitchen. I heard the coffee brewing and then the kids coming in with breakfast. Thank God! It was very sweet. A bagel and fried egg and a cup of coffee is my dream breakfast.
We quickly packed up a picnic lunch and headed out to a state park to meet the whole fam. It was awesome. All 6 of my siblings, all my nieces and nephews, my mom and dad were there. We ate, talked shit, hiked and took a bunch of pictures. Everyone stayed longer than I expected and I was very, very happy. Then, my mom wanted to take Molz and I out for a small bite for dinner (well... really wine) at the Four Seasons. La De Da! Phil took the kids home and us ladies had a nice evening drinking wine and eating fancy food.
I just love having my little sis here to visit and I always feel like something is missing when she's gone:(
We've been busy with t-ball and playdates and trying to pull weeds. I seriously freak out every time I walk into the yard. I could spend 8 hours a day for a week and still there would be weeds everywhere. My garden just seems to really be the best place for them to grow. I never had this problem in my old place... but I had a gardener back then. I think I might have to admit defeat and just get the really big suckers every once-in-a-while.
The book I've been working on is coming along. I go days where I really don't have any time at all to write and then I'll find a night where all the dishes and laundry are done and I can hunker down for an hour or two and really get some stuff done. I don't know if I'll be finished by the end of the year, but the progress I'm making is really helping me feel good about the project.
There is another project I don't feel so good about. One of my dear friends is pregnant and I decided I want to crochet a blanket for her first child. Problem is I don't know how to crochet (or knit) and I am the least crafty person I know. I bought some books and it seems like it should be easy, but I can't seem to get the knack. I have tons of projects laying around that just don't look right. I'm going to try this weekend to figure out what I'm doing wrong. If anyone out there knows how to crochet and can send a beginner a few tips on how to keep count of the stitches, I'd appreciate it.
Crouse Haus Out!
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