President Obama...

Dear President Obama,

If you tell Tom Daschle that he is out and you'll have to choose someone else as Health Secretary, I'll be behind you 100%.
But, if you continue to support him, it will plant the seeds of doubt in my head.

I support you and I'm happy you are our president, but this cannot stand. You speak of the crooks on wall street and you speak of the American people needing to buckle down and do the work that needs to be done to save our economy but yet, you support people who break the law. That doesn't pass muster with me.

Okay, so he paid the money back... good thing for him he had it. What if he didn't? Would he be in jail like any other American who made a "mistake" and didn't pay enough taxes?
If you want a clean start and you want to win the trust of Americans, you cannot stand behind Tom Daschle. Maybe it was an honest mistake. We all make mistakes, but we must pay for them. You can't start of this way. Please don't. You are making my heart heavy. You've already had one dude put in place who didn't pay his taxes. The stimulus package put forth by your party doesn't have nearly enough in there for creating jobs quickly for the American public. You voted for TARP, which hasn't done much. Please, give me a reason to keep on believing in you.

Lemonade stands and ToysRUs

I know it's January, but we live in So. Cal and the kids decided to have a lemonade stand today.
It was awesome. It was their first time running their own business, so we had to teach them a few things, but Luc caught on pretty quickly.
I have fond memories of having lemonade stands out in front of my house in West LA. My friends and I would pick lemons from the tree in my backyard, add too much sugar and happily taste the concoction and add ingredients until it was just right. Then we would set up shop right outside my front door. We always had plenty of takers... the event must have gone well the first time, because I did it more times than I can count on my two hands.

Today's event was a success. We had two neighbor girls join our kids to help out. A few minutes after they had purchased drinks and cookies (yes, I made cookies and lemonade) they headed back to the stand with their own sign. They wanted to join in on the fun. I think that having a gaggle of kids helped with our sales. People couldn't pass up three adorable girls and one crazy boy. After about 90 minutes, the kids walked with a total of $16. For the record, we charged 25 cents for lemonade and 25 cents for two cookies. The kids got a lot of tips.

After we split up the profits, the kids wanted to spend their money immediately. We were already going to head to Toys R Us to procure a present for cousin Ben's birthday party (tomorrow), so we told them they could each put $10 in their wallets and pick out a toy. Man... I freakin' hate Toys R Us. Not because of the funky smell or all the rotten kids in there. I hate it because it is filled to the ceiling with crap. CRAP! If I never go there again it will be too soon. There are zero quality toys contained within the walls of this store. My kids picked up two toys and we couldn't decide on something for cousin. Everything is such a piece of junk. And I shop as a parent. I know what shit I would hate for my kid to get. I know what will be played with once and then cast aside into the toy chest, never to see the light of day again. So, we decided on some small trinket and a gift card. Let my sis-in-law decide what piece of junk she wants to let into her house.

Please, please let me remember this experience. Let me plan better for the next birthday party and give myself at least 10 days to look online for a quality (perhaps even made in the USA) toy for the birthday kid. I never want to go to Toys R Us again.

More HR-1... who wrote this shite?

I'm curious... who actually writes these proposed bills? I never really thought about it until now. But I'm sure the congresspeople themselves don't sit down and write out all the details. So, who does? Shouldn't we know? We do pay these people in a round-about way. I'm into a bunch of legal jargon of the bill that I don't understand, and that's why I'm bringing this up.

Okay... let's get to the money, baby! This is a summary only and doesn't contain all of the spending. I have a job and two children. My job isn't in the U.S. congress... if it were, then I would have every last detail for you fleshed out here....

Department of Agriculture:
For an additional amount for ‘‘Agriculture Buildings
and Facilities and Rental Payments’’, $44,000,000, for
necessary construction, repair, and improvement activities:
For an additional amount for ‘‘Buildings and Facilities’’, $209,000,000, for work on deferred maintenance at Agricultural Research Service facilities.
FARM SERVICE AGENCY SALARIES AND EXPENSES
For an additional amount for ‘‘Salaries and Expenses,’’ $245,000,000, for the purpose of maintaining and modernizing the information technology system. For an additional amount for ‘‘Watershed and Flood Prevention Operations’’, $350,000,000, of which $175,000,000 is for necessary expenses to purchase and restore floodplain easement
WATERSHED REHABILITATION PROGRAM
For an additional amount for ‘‘Watershed Rehabilitation Program’’, $50,000,000, for necessary expenses to carry out rehabilitation of structural measures.

RURAL DEVELOPMENT PROGRAMS
$5.8 billion for consolidated farm and rural development act.

RURAL HOUSING SERVICE
$22,129,000,000 for loans to section 502 borrowers, of which $4,018,000,000 shall be for direct loans,and of which $18,111,000,000 shall be for unsubsidized guaranteed loans.

RURAL UTILITIES SERVICE
DISTANCE LEARNING, TELEMEDICINE, AND BROADBAND
For an additional amount for the cost of broadband loans and loan guarantees, as authorized by the RuralElectrification Act of 1936 (7 U.S.C. 901 et seq.) and for grants, $2,825,000,000


OK... I'm going to stop quoting here and add my own shit.
$1Billion dollars to the U.S. Census bureau. Wouldn't we do fine without a Censuse bureau?
Why do we need to spend a billion dollars here?

$35 Million for National Telecommunications and Information Administration. More administration... come on! This is to identify and track availability and adoption of broadband services within each state. Are you kidding me? Who comes up with this?

$2.825 Billion (yes, billion) for broadband deployment grants. Didn't we do just fine before broadband? Yes, my job depends upon it, but my in-laws and my mother... not so much.
Oh.. this includes some junk about the conversion analog. I don't need cable and neither do you. In fact, I'm calling my cable company on Monday to cancel.


$3 billion for state and local law enforcement assistance. Love law enforcement (hi Dad!) so I'm not going to say anything here.. have some thoughts but can't state them for fear of retribution from family:) Oh... here we go, another $1Billion for community oriented policing services. What the heck does that mean?

$400Million for NATIONAL AERONAUTICS AND SPACE ADMINISTRATION

Holy crap... I'm only 55 pages in. How much more can there be. I'm guessing a lot of waste in education -- no, I'm not saying education is a waste of time, just that education bureaucracies now how to waste money.

There seems to be about $1.5 billion spent on defense. $2 billion spent on the Army Corp of Engineers. $500Million spent for water reclamation and water related resources. $18.5 billion for Energy programs. $500million for Defense Environmental cleanup.
Federal building fund, $7.7 billion (yeah, you read that right).

Oh, and isn't this nice of them... a whopping $426million for small business loans. How sweet that they thought of the little guy. Oh... there are a bunch of pages of legalese regarding such loans... so beware. Almost 20 pages, whereas, most of the other government programs had 1 or 2 pages. So watch out little guy.

$500Million for aviation security. I hate to fly anyway, so let's cut that out:)

Wow, how generous... $200Million for emergency food and shelter.

Road and bridge repair gets a whopping $325 million in the bill. I would have thought this was one of the priorities, but I guess the congress things otherwise. I was thinking Roosevelt with the stimulus, but the government had other ideas.

Shit... wildlife services gets almost as much as the road and bridge repair -- $300million! Well... that seems wise.

Oh... let's not forget the national mall. Gotta spend at least $200 million here.

And then we need another $200 million for Geological surveys.
And then there is the $8.4 billion tribal assistance. Don't we have casinos on almost every block now?

Wildland fire management $850 million. I'm cool with that.

$550 Million for Indinal health services.

Yes, we must have $50 million for the national endowment of the arts. Because, right now, I am really needing the arts to sustain me. Really. Oh... I still have to pay $12 admission and $4 for a soda????

$4Billion for the dept. of labor.

$2.18 billion for Health and Human Services

I'm 156 pages in and I'm done for tonight. Please, comment! I'll post more details tomorrow. I'm not an economist and trying not to judge. I just want to hold everyone accountable. I was happy to see Obama elected but worried that he would have a congress of the same party so there wouldn't be many checks. I'm afraid that there is too much of a disconnect between Washington and the folks in middle America. I'm afraid there is going to be too much waste, so that is why I'm trying to read this stuff.

Stimulus, schitimulus

OK... I'm all for economic stimulus right now. My husband's job isn't entirely dependent on this, given that he is in the healthcare industry. But some folks do decide to forgo physical therapy, especially if they are out of work. In addition, the government has already proven itself to be ineffective in running a healthcare system, aka, medicare. My husband is so far behind on receiving payments from them it is disgusting.
My job is more tied to the economy, in that many businesses may decide that they don't need premium Web hosting at this time and some of our big contracts may decide to put big projects on hold. Right now my job is OK, but who knows what could come in the next year or so.

I'm currently reading an entertaining piece titled "HR-1 Stimulus Package". It is quite a long read and I haven't finished it yet, but what I have read doesn't excite me. What this piece tells me, is that the government in power, much to my chagrin, has no interest in helping out Joe the Plumber any time soon. They are cozy in their warm houses, with their private schools and Whole Foods entrees. They don't seem to see the need to move quickly. Well, maybe they do, but quickly for them means 3 or 4 years. Too late for many Americans, but fine for them, since many of them were just voted into office.
I'm still smarting from the news yesterday about the bonuses some wall street bankers received well after TARP passed. Yes, the bonuses that President Obama was going on about yesterday were handed out after TARP passed -- a bill he supported. He may not have been president, but he certainly was a Senator and helped the passage. Couldn't they have put a clause in there that stipulated what exactly the funds could be used for? Yes, if they had taken the time. But they impressed upon us how urgent the matter was and they were working day and night for us to find a solution to the banking woes. But the solution doesn't seem to have reached the average American. The solution seems to simply have lined the pockets of more of these money-hungry theives.
Now, on to the bill....
Off the bat -- before I even get to numbers -- something strikes me as wrong. The time-frame for this thing. They call it "Use it or Lose It requirements"
Recipients of grants must enter into contracts or commitments not later than a year after the date of enactment of the Act or not later than 9 months after the grant is awarded to make use of half of the funds awarded and shall enter into contracts or commitments no later than 2 years after the date of the Act or not more than 21 months after the grant is awarded to make use of the remaining funds.

This doesn't strike me as urgent. 1 year... 2 years...? So, we won't even begin to stimulate the economy for at least 12 months from when the Act is enacted? And then, those contracts may be entered into, but they may not start for many months after. What are we looking at here? 3 years, 4 years before things even start moving? Sounds about right for government, but doesn't work for my neighbor who was laid off and is facing foreclosure now.

Okay, now we are getting to some meat. up to .5% of each amount appropriated in the act may be used for the expenses of management and oversight of the programs, grants and activities. Wouldn't these agencies already have management in place? Why the waste? Oh, now I see, because they "may be transferred by the head of the Federal department or agency involved to any other appropriate account within the department or agency for that purpose.

Next this Act will create an "accountability and transparency board". How do I get a job on this board? Sounds sweet! They are going to oversee the fund and make sure there is no abuse or fraud or waste. Wait... isn't the board itself a waste? This board will have 7 members. I wonder if the bill will list their salaries... haven't gotten to that yet, I'm only on page 20. Shite!
Cool, the board will be appropriated $14million to carry out its duties, including travel expenses.

OK... taking a break. More in my next post... probably later tonight.

Easy vegan dish the kids liked

I think this is vegan....
The kids liked it and it super easy to put together.

2 tablespoons olive oil
1/2 onion diced
1 clove garlic minced
1/2 block extra-firm tofu drained, diced
1/2 cup - 1 cup thinly sliced carrots
1 can black beans rinsed
1 can diced tomatoes
oregano, cumin, salt and pepper -- I don't measure, just throw it in to my liking
cooked rice

Cook your rice according to how much you want and keep that warm.
Heat oil in skillet and add onion and garlic for about 2 minutes. Add tofu and carrots and cook that for about 5 - 7 minutes, stirring. Add beans, tomatoes and spices. Heat on low for about 5-10 minutes, stirring. Serve over rice.
It's got everything in there... no need for side dishes or anything, although my kids always demand fruit with their dinner.

Can I have this every night? Super cheap and easy!

Heading off to the Magic Kingdom this weekend for Amanda's birthday. We are going to surprise them with a stay at the hotel on site. They think we are going to stay with the grandparents -- they are going to freak!

Things you don't want to hear from your daughter at 5 a.m.

"Mommy, I peed my bed."
You roll over and realize she isn't sleeping in her own bed, she's in your bed!

Good morning!

I'm very lucky

When I was a kid, I had many sleepovers at friends houses. The one thing that all of these sleepovers had in common was that the dad in the house was never around. Not that they weren't living there, but if there was a sleepover, they quietly retreated to some other part of the house and let the mom take over all the duties of feeding the kids, calming everyone down if things got crazy, making sure everyone brushed their teeth and, of course, tucking everyone in.
Now our kids are having sleepovers -- granted, they are with cousins -- and my kids' dad is more involved in the sleepover than I am. He is right there ready to play games with the kids, help them pick out a movie and get them a treat to eat. For some reason, Phil is a kid magnet. They love to attack him -- pummel him with pillows, call him a silly-head, or pretend to chop his head off with a light saber. He is down with all that. Then, he rounds everyone up to brush their teeth. I gave everyone a quick kiss goodnight and now he is in there telling a long story. I can hear all this going on now. He is even asking for their input on how the story should go. Next he'll sing a couple of songs and then tell everyone goodnight.
This is how it always go and all I can think is that I'm so lucky.
There is something special about dads, especially if they are away at work all day. They come home and they aren't tired of the kids. They aren't looking at the clock counting down the minutes until they are "free" for a few hours. Phil often seems refreshed after a long day at work when he comes home to the kids and he can quiz them or help Luc with homework or read a book to them.
It sure wasn't that way when I was a kid and I wonder if it was just my dad or if it was just how things were back in the day.

Anyway, I'm sure we'll have to put the kids back to bed a few times before the night is through, but for now I have a few more minutes to myself as I can hear the story is still going on.

New Year's resolutions, breakfast and curious things in the yard

Happy New Year!
We're two days into 2009 and it is already simply splendid:) Yesterday we went on our holiday hike up the treacherous Tarantula Hill. The weather was beautiful and I think we only heard one child request to be picked up ... I pretended I couldn't hear her. In the afternoon we headed over to the house of some good friends and had a really nice visit. We got there mid-afternoon and suddenly I looked at my watch and it was 7:30. With 5 kids bouncing around a house, that is a sign that things went really well.
Today we picked up cousin Ben and the three kids played, made crafts and ran around to music. There was only one little tiff between the boys and they quickly worked it out themselves. I managed to make a dinner that everyone liked and even found time to bake two loaves of bread -- they are cooling now (yum!).

Okay... on to new year's resolutions. I only have 3 this year and they aren't too tough.
1. Attempt to learn how to sew. I put attempt here because I am about the least crafty person you will ever meet. I could spend an hour trying to wrap a birthday present and it would still come out looking like a 3 year old did it. Anyway, I'd like to be able to sew some little clothes for Amanda's dolls or little purses for her to play with. My mom has a sewing machine that is collecting dust and she said she'll give me a few lessons. So, next week I'm going to attempt to learn the basics.

2. Grow something edible in my garden. We have a large yard compared to some houses around here. It's no ranch or farm, but the house is small, so there is quite a bit of dirt. Along the same lines of the craft business, all previous attempts at trying to grow things have met with disaster. This year, though, I'm going to plan things out and really give it my best shot. I think that is part of my problem. I'm not a planner. I want immediate results and I try the quickest way to do things. I now know that growing things takes time and work and planning. I'm going to get the right tools, the right ingredients and find out the right locations for the plants I want to grow. I won't know if this resolutions pans out until later in the year, but my planning starts now.

3. Purchase a bike and go on weekly rides with Lucas. Luc and I have a blast when we get a chance to spend one-on-one time. He loves to ride his bike, but it's not as much fun by himself with me walking behind. So, I'm going to save up a bit each paycheck and then find a nice used bike. I'd like to set aside special time for him and I to spend together. Amanda and I already have plenty of that because she is out of school before him and also he is involved in sports sometimes and I get to hang just with her.

That's it. I think these are all doable, but not so lame that they won't take any effort.

On to breakfast... I've got two loaves of bread cooling right now and I can barely keep Amanda away from them. I told her to look forward to breakfast tomorrow when she and I will have some nice toast with butter and jam on the bread. It's been a couple of months since I've baked bread because I've been so busy. I don't have a bread machine, so it does take a bit of time. But Amanda and Phil and I love to have the homemade stuff. Luc does not eat bread, so he won't be invited to breakfast tomorrow:)

There are curious things going on in my yard this winter. The apples on our tree did not come in this year and the few that did, never matured. Then, our tree sat there with leaves all fall. In fact, I was just noticing a couple of days ago how all of the leaves were still on the tree and they were mighty green. I went into the yard this morning and the leaves are all now yellow and suddenly half of them are on the ground. Normally this would have occured more than a month ago. Also, my camilias bloomed again about a month ago. They bloom in the spring (I love them) but that is it. They've never bloomed in the late fall or winter before. Very strange. I just cut back all my roses, even though they were still blooming (I had to do it while I have the time). I'll fertilize them this weekend. I know what you are going to say, "I thought you couldn't grow anything." Well, all of these plants and trees were here when we bought the house. All I have to do is water and ferlitize them. For some reason, if I personally put something into the ground, it decides to die.

Hope your 2009 will be happy and healthy!

Book review: The Well and the Mine

If you are looking for a fantastic read, I suggest, The Well and the Mine by Gin Phillips. I can't recommend this book enough. I am so amazed that this is a first novel.
It takes place in a small town in Alabama during the Great Depression. It is written in a style that I don't think many authors could pull off. But this author is such a beautiful writer that it works.
The story focuses on the Moore family and switches off between their voices. They are a hardworking, loving family whose sense of generosity and community makes you want to be a better neighbor.
To me, the novel seems so timely. There is so much talk about recession and depression lately, but you can get a glimpse of what it must have been like for people in the early 1930's. It brings things back to what's important -- family and community.
I got my copy from the library, but you can also get it on Amazon.

Movie review -- Bedtime Stories

Loved it! Yes, I did. After seeing so many kids movies that were good for the kids and O.K. for grownups, I found one that was good for my six year old and for me. My almost 4 year old wasn't into it, but if you have a little older child, this would definitely be a movie you could both enjoy together.
I've been "off" Adam Sandler for a while. Yes, I lost my shit while watching Happy Gilmore, but that's the last time I found an Adam Sandler film entertaining. This one brings him back in my good graces. I laughed out loud a few times, and so did my son. I wish I had had a sitter for my daughter, because she was just a tad too young.
Anyway, if you have time, see this, or rent it when it comes out on DVD.

We're home, struggling through this last week of winter break, as I'm sure many parents are. It's not that I don't love them, it's just that I have to work. I have the luxury of working from home, but my rugrats aren't the kind that I can park in front of the t.v. for a couple of hours while I get a bit of work done. I'm like a freakin magnet. I tell them, "go and play in the front yard." They don't listen. What is wrong with my kids!!!!???? I pull out a bunch of shit for them to play with, I roll out their scooters, grab a few balls and tell them to go have fun... the world is waiting for them to have an adventure. They would rather sit right next to my desk and ask when I'm going to be done with work. Am I that much fun??? What do you do? Are your kids as needy as mine? I'm a self starter and their inability to use their imaginations just really gets to me. It makes me so freakin grouchy. What did I do wrong???

Party's over!

I survived it. 16 kids and 8 adults in my small abode. It didn't rain, so that is good, and all the work I did on the food turned out alright. My homemade lego cake was cool and even though my homemade lego pinata didn't look great, I don't think the kids noticed.
There were lots of cousins around and also a few buddies from Luc's school. It was weird, though... this was the first year where the non-relative parents just dropped off their kids. It was like.. hi, what time should I pick little Johnnie up? I had prepared a lot of food expecting everyone to stay because they always have in the past. I'm fine that they didn't stay, but it's like some sort of milestone. My son now has parties where the parents of his mates don't stay. Crazy!!!!! He'll be six on Tuesday and that blows my mind! I'm tired, so I'm going to go to bed now.
All I have left to do for Christmas is wrap presents and one more day of baking. I can go go bed without a lot of shit hanging over my head.
Good night!

Now I remember... I hate December!

Around mid-November I start to get excited for the holidays. I look forward to Thanksgiving and then shopping for gifts for the family for Christmas. We'll have a pretty tree and sing carols at the piano while we sip egg nog and laugh jovially. The presents will be prettily wrapped and the kids and I will enjoy decorating Christmas cookies that we'll deliver to the neighbors.
Around December 10 (that's today) I wake up from my dream and remember that December sucks. My anxiety is starting to kick in. Not only do I have Christmas to plan for, but my first born celebrates his birthday 2 days before Christmas. I always do a party for him and I have a huge freakin family. Now that he is in kindergarten, he also wants to invite a few buds from class -- and i know that also means that a few of their parents will be there as well. So, the count could get as high as 33 if everyone comes -- I'm sure that won't be the case.
My house is filled with lists. Lists of gifts I've purchased or need to purchase. Lists of things I need for the party. Lists of what I need to do to get my house in order for overnight guests (in-laws and bro-in-law will be here for a few nights at Christmas). Lists, lists, lists!!! But I don't seem to find much time to get anything crossed off my lists. In between work, xmas shopping, homework, and just giving my kids a bit of attention, there doesn't seem to be much time for the extras.
It's no wonder I usually end up with the flu or pneumonia right around Christmas. I can't wait until about mid-January (after Amanda's birthday). Just wake me up then.
If I suddenly found myself very wealthy, I would probably just book a vacation for 2 weeks for the family and get the heck out of town:)

Tree is up!

We got our Christmas tree today and it is a nice one! It's the first time in a few years that everything has gone smoothly. We didn't pay an arm and a leg, the tree went in the stand beautifully and is fairly straight and there are no bald spots.. like on our sad tree last year. My husband didn't even curse once while helping me set it up. And Lucas was so into decorating this year. It's the first year he's really cared to hang more than one ornament. He did about 2/3 of the decorating after I got the lights on. We turned on the fireplace (doesn't that sound wrong) and had the Christmas tree lights on during dinner. It was a very nice evening.

We then headed out to Moorpark to view some crazy lights. They are in this wealthier part of town and just about every street in the neighborhood is jam packed with lights and displays that are so over the top. The kids loved it. It's like each neighbor is trying to outdo the next and we get to benefit from their competition. After we got home and pulled into our own driveway, our lights did look a little sad, but that's OK because I know my electric bill won't exceed what I spend on presents.

Wait... what does PG mean?

Tonight was family movie night. The kids picked one of my favorite holiday movies, "Home Alone". I've owned the movie, like, forever -- I have loved it since I first saw it when I like 15 years old. One of my favorite lines from the movie has now come back to bite me in the ....

"Kevin, I wouldn't let you sleep in my room if you were growing on my ass!"
I always loved the way the kid delivered the line and the look on his face. It cracked me up, until I had kids. I was setting up the kids table in front of the t.v. -- cause we do that on Friday nights -- and I heard the line. I let out a little giggle and that was all that was needed. My kids laughed and they didn't even know what they were laughing at. "Mom, what does growing on my ass mean?" Lucas asked. "It means that is something you aren't allowed to say," I said.
Great response, mom! They laughed even harder and said ass like 10 times. But as the movie progressed I didn't hear it again, so I hope I don't have to talk to Luc about the "a-word" before school on Monday.

Easiest dinner ever

My pantry was bare this morning as I contemplated what we'd have for dinner. I took a quick peek and decided to throw some things in the crockpot and see what happens.
I defrosted some chicken from the freezer, put that in the pot. Threw in some diced onions and some frozen corn. Then I topped it off with a container of Trader Joe's butternut squash soup. Put that on at about 10 a.m. (took all of about 10 minutes to do). At around 5ish, I heated some Trader Joe's frozen brown rice and threw that in the crockpot for about 30 minutes. We all sat down and everyone loved it -- even the kids! Awesome and easy and healthy!
The whole soup -- excluding the fruit we also had -- probably cost between $5.50 and $6.00 ($1.50 per person... awesome!)

washing dishes and why does the shit fall more heavily on some people than others

First I'll start with my dishes. I read that it is more environmentally friendly to wash your dishes with a machine rather than by hand. Fine by me. But it is better if you do not pre-rinse. Hmmm... I don't have that dishwasher where you can put a cake in it and the plate comes out clean, but I do have something that has been working. A dog. My dog has become the family pre-rinser. She is happy to oblige and she is a very hard worker. My only question is, do I have to pay her?

I have a woman who comes in to clean our house every two weeks. She has worked for my mom for years and is one of the nicest people I know. However, our finances have become tight lately and I've been meaning to tell her that I won't be able to have her come anymore but shit keeps happening to this poor woman. Today was the day I was going to do it, but she dropped a bomb and I couldn't. I can cut elsewhere. It's only $150/mo. Some women might get their hair and nails done, or buy gourmet coffee or shop at Whole Foods. Me, I only have to get down and dirty with my house myself twice a month instead of every week. The thing that gets me, though, is this woman has had a very difficult life since she was born. If it were me, I'd be headed for the looney bin, but not her... she picks herself up by her bootstraps and goes on with a smile. She is the oldest of 14 kids born to a poor family in Mexico. She basically had to raise her younger siblings from the time she was a small child. She didn't finish school. She was "taken" by an acquantaince of the family when she was 15 and held captive for 3 years. Her family didn't try to get her back because they were afraid. When she finally was returned at age 18, she was basically told to stuff her feelings. She came to the U.S. (she is legal) and helped her younger sisters. She's worked cleaning up after people since then. She has an alcoholic common-law husband, whom she has three children with. She finally got the nerve to kick him out only to have him back now, 5 years later, because he has heart failure and she is taking care of him while he dies. She doesn't love him, but as she tells me, "he is my children's father". Her beloved aunt died this year. One of her sons has had trouble with drugs and in school. The bomb today, her 18 year old daughter is pregnant. This young girl just started college. When she told me her daughter was starting college I was so happy. I was like, yes, you make her go to class and make sure she finishes. She's going to go on and do great things. Now the daughter is determined to keep the baby and finish college. I pray she does. Her mother has worked too fucking hard her entire life to have her child not do great things. Despite this, she owns her own home (in a scary neighborhood) and makes enough money to take care of herself and her kids. No handouts. She has medical insurance and car insurance.
The thing that absolutely kills me is that we had been talking lately about how she wanted to sell her home in January, when her daughter had been planning to move out, and she was going to get her own place. She was so excited that she would live by herself. Just take care of herself -- for the first time in her life. Now that dream is shattered because her daughter will most certainly need to live with her for some time. My heart aches, but still she has a smile and says a prayer and says that God will watch out for her. I wish I had a million dollars to give to her.

I'm confused....

I am totally confused. That may not be news to some of you... but this particular confusion is regarding setting up a playdate for my daughter with her bff. It shouldn't be a big deal, right? In an earlier post, I noted how we had been canceled on for a playdate two times. I decided to give up. The mom had arranged play dates and then cancelled at the last minute each time. Sucks for the kids, because each time I drop my daughter off at school, her bff says, why can't I play at Amanda's house, or why can't Amanda play at my house? I don't know, go ask your mom!
Anyway, the mom had been working part time at the beginning of the year. Then, about two weeks ago I noticed her daughter had switched to 5 days a week at school, like my daughter. I figured the mom was working full time again. Cool.
But then last week, there was a cute card in Amanda's cubby. It was decorated by the bff and a note was written by an adult. "Hi Amanda, I want you to come play at my house soon. Love, bff."
Shit... I lost the mom's phone number because I didn't figure I would need it. But I did have her email address from when i was a room parent last year. I emailed her. The response I got was confusing.
Something like, "Oh, the problem is I'm working full-time now. But maybe we'll see you at the park for the preschool get-together." What? Why would you send a note basically inviting my daughter over if that wasn't what you intended? You work full-time. That's so cool. I work as well and understand that. But I wouldn't have my child invite another child over while knowing that it wasn't possible for them to come over. Make sense??

I'm out, the "f" word and great depression

I'm officially counting myself out for nanowrimo this year. I missed the first day and then got into it for a few days, but I completely flaked this weekend. This week has been busy, so I haven't done any writing for nano since last Friday. It sucks, because I've been planning that this is the November I will reach the goal. But I tend to let life get in the way. My husband will offer to take over the kid duties in the evening for an hour or two, but when I go into the office and hear the little voices saying, "where's mommy... I want to go visit her in the office," I break down and read some books to my kids instead. The shitty thing is that I know it's a cop-out to say that I'm too busy. If I really wanted to finish this task, I would just do it. I would open up my laptop at 9 every night and work until I met that day's goal. But the truth is, my sofa and a good book just seem so much more appealing right now. I'm so stressed out about life in general that I would rather lose myself in a book someone else sweated over, than create something of my own. Maybe next year....

My son said the f word the other night. No, not the really bad one. It's the one that's not so bad, but you don't want to be the parent that lets your kid get away with saying it at inappropriate times. He was running down the hall after his bath and he turned to his sister and said, "Amanda, I just farted!" Then they both fell on the floor giggling uncontrollably. I swallowed my own laugh and asked him where he had heard that word. He said, "Mommy, it's no big deal. It just means burping from your butt!" Again with the laughter. Apparently he heard it from his pal at school. This is the same pal he picked up "Oh my God!" from. It's Oh My God this and Oh My God that all the time. We haven't every really used "fart" around here. I admit that I feel it's a more masculine term. I don't like saying it and I don't like hearing my 5 year old saying it. I've always used the lame term "gas". I guess it doesn't matter. There is absolutely no way to convince a young boy (or even a grown man, for that matter) that farting isn't funny.
This is all coming from a woman who curses worse than a sailor as soon as the kids are tucked in bed.

The news these days is all about recession, recession, recession. It's enough to stop a girl from going to get a large latte a few times a week. OK... I stopped my coffee splurges about 9 months ago, and I've cut back almost every where I can. There are still a few splurges that we haven't cut out yet -- eating one meal out on weekends and buying the kids new socks when their old ones are too small. I haven't had my hair cut since April and I've been coloring it at home -- the results aren't great, but they aren't terrible. We made a trip the the La Brea tarpits a couple of weekends ago -- kids had an excellent time -- and we dropped about $60, not including gas. We don't do that too often anymore. I haven't shopped for clothes in I don't know how long -- if you know me, you know I used to be a clothes whore. I love new clothes... they make me feel so good. But it's been about 6 months since I even bought myself a t-shirt. I did go to payless a couple of weeks ago and picked up a pair of brown flats because the pair I had -- from before Amanda was born -- had had it. As I visited Phil at work the other day, one of his receptionists said, "cute shoes, I have the same ones." I said, "yeah, payless is awesome!" She made an awful face and said, "uh... no, mine weren't from payless." Whatever! Anyway, all this is to say that I'm sure lots and lots of people are a bit stressed out these days. But I officially entered the great depression today. My neighbor -- two doors up -- just put his house on the market for $440,000! Shit. I could kill Fernando!!!! We purchased our house for more than $250K more than that two years ago. Fernando, dude, you are killing me.
My husband and I have been playing around with the idea of selling our place. Yes, we would lose the 20% we put down, but we wouldn't be up all night, every night, worrying about bills. Instead, we could be worrying about whether or not we were screwing up our kids. That is what parents are supposed to worry about, right? But, in light of Fernando's move, we now see that we can't sell our house for even what we owe. Thus, the great depression.
FERNANDO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Prop 8... prop 4

So, Prop 8 passed... I'm disgusted. Prop 4 was defeated... I'm equally disgusted. If these churches, which should be concerned with life, had put their money behind prop 4, instead of pumping millions of dollars into California to promote a bill that marginalizes a good percentage of our population, we'd maybe have some young girls protected.
Instead, I saw nothing regarding prop 4 from my church or any others in the area.
Whatever your stance on abortion, if you are a parent, don't you want to know if your 14 year old daughter is going make a life altering decision?
I thought Prop 8 would be defeated handily. Boy, was I wrong. There were rallies all around this town. The same folks voting for Obama, were trying to keep homosexuals from gaining the same rights as same sex couples.
I don't get it. I'm still stunned. Don't I live in California? Well, I thought California was a cut-above (yes, I'm a bit of a snob) but it turns out we're right inline with Arkansas. I know no-one from Arkansas reads this blog, so I can write that:) Really, I thought we were a progressive state. I guess not.
I knew prop 4 was a longshot... similar initiatives have been defeated in the past. But, perhaps if those church leaders had put their money where it really belonged, we'd be celebrating the fact that we can have the chance to talk with our daughters about important decisions. Instead, my neighbors are celebrating the fact that gays can't get married. Strange priorities these people have.

We're doing something right

We were sitting at dinner last night and the kids were talking about what they want to be when they grow up. Lucas said he wanted to build rocket-ships and be a scientist. We said, great, you should be a scientist if you are going to design rockets. The he said, "I'm also going to invent medicines to help people get better. And if some people don't have enough money to pay for the medicine, I'll give it to them for free."
The lump in my throat was as big as an apple.
Then Amanda chimed in... "I'm going to be a mad scientist and I'm going to make lots of toys and give them to all the kids for free!"
That will make you Santa Claus, I said:)

We talk a lot around here lately about sharing with those who have less than us. We talk a lot about not buying every toy we see -- we need to appreciate what we have because there are others out there who have much less than we do and we can be happy just being together.
But how that translated into providing free medicine to poor people, I don't know. Maybe that NPR that I play in the kids room while they sleep is doing the trick:)