Moon

Right now my husband is trippin' out my non-mathematic, non-scientific mind. My brain is trying wrap it's feeble self around the fact that once a month the dark side of the moon sees a "full earth". When it's a full moon for the earth, it is a "new earth" for the dark side of the moon. When it is a new moon for us, it is a "full earth" for the dark side. The bright side of the moon, which we see, never actually sees the earth. Is that crazy? I can't quite grasp it, which is why, without modern thinkers, I'd just be some hairy man person jumping around every time I saw a shooting star thinking the world was going to end. The whole time that Phil was explaining this moon thing to me, my brain just kept on repeating, "on the dark side, oh yeah. On the dark side, oh yeah." You know you love it!

In other news, Phil took Luc to see the Clone Wars today. Luc loved it. Amanda and I did some girlie things. Phil and I mowed and edged and then tried to clean up the weeds on our side yard. This part of the house is the biggest thorn in our sides. It gets sun all day long and anything we try to grow there just gets cooked. If we had a few extra ducats around it would be the perfect place to build a deck and put our bbq. I'll have to post some pics so you can see the mess. We've spent money putting wood chips there (splinters for the kids) and then we tried grass seed to no avail. I've tried growing veggies, but everything just shrivels up. I wish it was easy to put down cement, because then I'd just pour a bunch down and be done with it. Anyway, we weedwhacked the weeds -- they were taller than my son.
If we do end up selling this place, we have to come up with some solution for this area. It's really such a waste of our large yard.

We're still on loose-tooth watch right now.

Oh, big news! Lucas can now swing by himself. This was a big deal. We've been working on it for a while, but it's one of those things that just needs to "click". Well, the other day it clicked and now Luc can swing all by himself... he doesn't even need a starting push. So, for the first day of Kindergarten, he will be able to tie his own shoes and swing by himself. We just have to work on riding the bike without training wheels and we'll be set! He is getting so freakin big!

Big news for Amanda isn't great. She's got a problem with her Achilles tendon -- it's too short. She cannot walk on her full foot, but instead walks like a ballerina. Our Ped. confirmed our suspicions and we have an appt. with an orthopod in 2 weeks and they will most likely fit her with braces to be worn for about 6 months. Phil is doing stretching with her, but it is a bummer.

What have you been up to?

Movie review and I'm just a grownup

Phil and I had spent a nice evening at the movies. We went to see The Dark Knight and it was great. The acting was better than the plot, something you don't expect from a comic book movie. All of the lead actors did a superb job and the movie was definitely worth the $20+ spent.
Wait, it wasn't 20, it was about $56, including the babysitter.

Babysitter.... this is the second time we've left the kids with a non-relative sitter and I think it went well. They were asleep when we came home, so we'll find out more in the morning. The sitter is our next-door neighbor. She is 13, sweet and her parents need to watch out because she is gorgeous. Anyway, the babysitter makes me feel really old. I can still remember being a babysitter, I can remember being that age (although I never looked like her!). I still feel young so I try to converse with the young like I am one of them. Except, I am not, and they make it very obvious by their one word responses to inquiries. My husband I and tried to talk with her about the movie and other pleasantries, but she didn't bite. The girl would not converse with us. She wanted to take the money and run from these oldies. Damn! I have turned into the parents that used to pay me when I would watch their little ones. I must say that I hate it. I just want to scream, "I'm cool, I really am!"

Are we hanging on by a thread?

I went to the pharmacy today to pick up my crazy pills and I totally got freaked out. I was waiting for the pharmacy guy to find my medicine and I suddenly realized how much medicine is there. Then I turned around and saw the long line of poor souls waiting for their meds. There were bottles of all different colors and sizes. Bags and bags with names of my neighbors, just waiting to be picked up.
I mean, it was seriously frightening.
This is just one little pharmacy in my small city. While I was waiting in line, there were thousands and thousands of other people waiting all around the country for their medicine.
Sure, some folks are just there for their ambien, but there are others, like my husband, who need their medicine to live -- they would die within days without it.
It made me think that we are somewhat feeble.
I say this, as I take my crazy pill. Without it I might live, but what kind of life would it be?

The tooth is loose and I love Golden Spoon

The first loose tooth has been spotted in the Crouse Haus!!! The little man is almost as excited as I am. Well, I should say that he is totally jazzed while I have a lot of jazzy feelings mixed with bittersweet sentiments about my oldest passing this milestone.
How can he already be 5 1/2? How did the years pass in an absolute blink and I'm now getting ready to send him to kindergarten -- minus one tooth?
He told me the tooth was loose last week, but I couldn't feel it. Maybe I didn't want to. Tonight he said, "Mommy, my tooth is really loose now!" I took one look at his smile and could see that crooked tooth barely hanging on. I gave it a little wiggle and my stomach did flips.
He jumped up and down and said, "The tooth fairy is coming, the tooth fairy is coming!"
Then he got very serious and said, "Mommy, is there really, really a tooth fairy?" I paused for a half a second and then I lied to my dear son. "Yes, Lucas, there really is a tooth fairy."
I did have to break it to him that, no, the tooth fairy doesn't bring dollar bills, but she might be bringing quarters these days -- I got dimes.


If you happen to live near a nifty little yogurt shop called Golden Spoon, I highly recommend you stop in and pick up a cold treat. I just discovered this place over the weekend and all I can say is "yummy!" It brings me back to my teenage days when there was a yogurt store on every corner. They suddenly shut down when all the hype about carbs and cutting out sugar became the rage. Well, yogurt is back and it's not your grandma's yogurt. It is low fat or fat free and low carb. The mini -- plenty for most folks -- only contains 68 calories and 15 carbs! I had mine with tasty fresh raspberries. The other bonus... it costs quite a bit less than your high fat Cold Stone type ice creams. The ingredient list doesn't look too scary, so I think it must be that there is a lot of air or something in there, because man, it tastes great and on hot days -- as we are likely to have for the next 3 months -- it goes down smooth!

Get to me via maureen.me, can't believe I never posted this and some notes

You can now get to my site by typing in maureen.me. Simple dimple!

When we took our vacation last month we passed through the quiet little town of Spreckles, CA. Right as we were leaving the town, we saw this guy:



Does that picture look suggestive to you?
These weird giant wood people were everywhere. We also spotted quite a few in Monterey.

In other news, the sleep deprivation in the Crouse Haus continues. The kids are now nightly trying to join our bed in the wee hours. Amanda has had a few accidents lately and when Luc awakens and sees his sister isn't in the room, he ultimately finds us cramped in our bed. I usually end up walking Luc back to his room and then sleeping with him. It has gotten a bit out of hand and I can't seem to correct it. They go to sleep just fine, but they keep waking up and wandering into our room. We tried a sleep chart (stay in your room until 7 a.m.) and that worked the first time, but once the chart was done, the old sleep habits came back. Our second attempt at a sleep chart has failed.
I'm OK on 5 or 6 hours sleep -- not at my best, but not too bad. Phil, on the other hand, is a complete bear if he doesn't get at least 7 uninterrupted hours. The option of me just sleeping in the other room with the kids wouldn't work either (not that I'd want to do that) because he doesn't sleep well if I'm not there:)

Our dryer has decided to die for good. We are now looking at used dryers. It's been almost 3 weeks of drying clothes outside, but I can't keep it up. Sure, if I didn't have a job, maybe that would work, but I can only really get one load hung up and taken down per day because I have lots of other shit to do. I located a dryer on Craigslist advertised for $100. I was totally ready to pay the full amount (I almost never haggle, I don't know how) but when my husband went to look at it, the kind folks said they would only take $75. My wonderful sis-in-law is going to loan us our truck tomorrow so that we can pick it up.

Swim lessons are going well. Amanda still won't dunk her head, but we're making progress. Lucas is doing amazingly well. He is starting to get some real strokes in there between the dog paddling. The breathing thing is tough to get, but we still have 3 more weeks of lessons. Then I just have to hit the lottery so we can build a pool!

I have to warn you against a movie. If you haven't seen it yet, don't waste your time on Cloverfield. If I was in my early 20's I might have enjoyed it more, but at 34, it was a complete waste of my time. Phil and I just put our dvd player in our bedroom -- his brother gave him a ps3 for his b-day, so that works as a dvd player in the family room now. Last night I was dog tired so I suggested watching the movie in the back. After it was over -- and I still can't believe I let myself watch the whole thing -- I was left thinking, "I gave up writing my nightly 1000 words for this?" I've been trying to stick to a schedule of writing 1000 words every single night. Sometimes those words are meant for my book, other times they just end up being any random thing. But the point is for me to do it, to keep that muscle working and hopefully every so often a gem will pop out. I'm also reading Crime and Punishment for the first time. I have to say that I am surprised that I love it. The Russian names are a bear but I am thoroughly enjoying it and find myself trying to get through my nightly 1000 words so that I have time to read.
Where was I.... oh yes, don't rent Cloverfield. Instead, write 1000 words and then read Crime and Punishment.

I'm dumb!!!

Maybe the rest of you knew it all along. I always thought I was just a regular person, not particularly smart, but not the biggest dummy on the planet. Well, I was proven wrong tonight.
I'll have to go back about a week....
Last Wednesday our dishwasher seemed to get sick out of the blue. I filled it up and pushed the button and nothing happened. The little light didn't go on. I pushed a bunch of buttons. Looked under the sink to make sure it was plugged in, checked the circuit breaker and even checked the little interrupter (I'm not sure if that's what it is called) that is on the outlet where the garbage disposal switch is. Nada. OK. It needs a repairman.
Cut to Thursday when my husband gets off work early. He was already pissed because the ultrasound machine and the heating system for his hot packs went out on him at work. Then he goes for a jog and jumps in the shower only to be met with ice-cold water. I check the water heater and the pilot is out. My hubby takes his cold shower and is even more annoyed. We relight the pilot and think that is the end of it.
I have to add here that my husband is about the least "handy" person you will ever meet. Every, and I mean every, household fix situation is met with multiple trips to the hardware store and much swearing. It almost never works out and either the project is just a half-assed job or we have to call in the pros.
Anyway, we thought the pilot was fixed. Friday morning (holiday) my husband jumps in the shower and it is ice-cold again. I had just washed the breakfast dishes (by hand because dishwasher still out) and I had warm water. Well, I guess it was just left over. I run to the back room when I hear my husband swearing and am met with an ugly hole in our bathroom door. Yes, he punched a hole in the door. My husband is a pacifist. WTF! I swear, house problems just send his blood pressure up more than anything.

Now my house is a total wreck. No hot water, no dishwasher, hole in the door....
We head to Home Depot because I look up online that the problem with the water heater could be the thermocouple. We look around the store and find one -- they only have one kind and it says universal. Well, it wasn't universal for our heater. Fuck! That wasn't me, that was my husband. After we took the thing apart, which was very difficult because the water heater was made for people with hands the size of elves, the thermocouple we bought wouldn't fit. We relight the pilot and miraculously it stays lit. I don't know why, and I'm not looking a gift horse in the mouth. It's been relit since the 4th of July. Happy day, one problem solved.

Dishwasher has still been out and I've been washing by hand -- it sucks, especially since I have bad eczema and the gloves don't always work well. Anyway, I've been too busy with work and kids to call a repairman and I just don't really have the money right now.
Today I went to use my blender to chop some veggies. I plugged it in to the outlet that is clear across the kitchen from the dishwasher. It wouldn't turn on. I pushed the little red button on the outlet and that did the trick. On a hunch, I walked across the room to the dishwasher and pushed the start button. The freakin light turned on!
God damn am I dumb. I should have tried all the outlets, but I thought that the one closest to the dishwasher would be the one it was connected to.
Anyway, I'm so glad I didn't have $60 to call the repairman, otherwise my dumbness would have been known by others.

Last day and could a lightning bug live in L.A.?

Tomorrow I think I'll cry. My oldest (my baby boy) will go to his last day of preschool tomorrow. He's been at the school for 2.5 years now and it's been such a wonderful place for him. He's made some great buds and I love that the teachers have time to chat with me when I drop him off or pick him up. I know the other moms and dads and I also love that I can drop him off anywhere from 8:15 to 9 a.m.
I'll see all the teachers next year because my daughter will still attend the school, but I just know I'm going to lose it when I check his cubby and folder for the last time. Wahhhh!!! How did 5.5 years go by so fast. God, I can still remember the little cry-bag that Luc was when he was tiny. I remember when he called me his best friend for the first time and how he said, and still says, that he'd rather spend time with me than with anyone else in the world. I know that once he starts Kindergarten things will start to change. It's good, but I'm such nostalgic freak that it's also bad.
I'm also not looking forward to having to get miss sleepy-pants up and ready by 8:00 to walk her brother to school.

We'll go on a short vacation up to Big Sur and San Francisco next week and then Amanda will be back at school and Luc will start camp. He is so excited for camp. They have an awesome fort and they get to go swimming every day. He's going to love it.


Speaking of summer, we had our first June bug visit us last night. Some years we get tons and others we just see a few little dudes on our porch. Unfortunately, the first one was quickly eaten by the newest member of our family and I quickly scolded her. Ruby was very confused because I always cheer her one when she is gobbling down a moth or fly. But I love June bugs. Sure they don't seem like the smartest bugs on the planet -- they are always crash landing onto our patio -- but they mark the beginning of summer and I'm always a little sad when they have gone for the year.
The little "Junies", as I call them, made me think of lighting bugs. I've only seen them once -- when I went to visit a friend in Philly in early June back when I was a teenager. I loved them. I loved the whole idea of sitting on the front porch in the crazy humidity, eating some water (wooder) ice and watching the fireflies. I wish we could send away for a box of fireflies -- you know, like how you can by a little carton of ladybugs -- and let them loose for the kids. Now, there's a marketing idea! There's probably an issue with them being a non-native species and perhaps causing problems, but still, the kids would dig it.

Green Stuff

I'm all for going green, but this is ridiculous!
When we first moved into this house and put my son in his room, he suddenly developed allergies that were pretty significant and disturbed his sleep. We put him on an allergy medicine and it only worked minimally. About a year or so after we moved in, my son started sleeping in his sister's room. They just liked sleeping together and his allergies seemed to subside. I thought maybe it was the time of year. I had pulled up a tiny piece of his carpet to see if there was any mold and I didn't see any. We recently decided to put both kids back in Luc's room because it was bigger. Not two nights after they were in the room, Luc's allergies were back. We moved them back to the smaller room and the allergies disappeared. I'm no scientist, but I figured there must be a relationship between the room (which is now my office) and his allergies.

I decided to pull up more of the carpet and when I did, I almost threw up.




Black, green and fuzzy mold. Gross. I'm working in this shit and my poor son was sleeping and playing in here.
We've only lived here 2 years and never had a leak that we know of, so this stuff must have been here for a while. My husband and I were going to wait until school is out and then pull the carpet up and install vinyl floors ourselves -- yes, it's cheesy, but it's cheap and waterproof.
But ever since I saw the stuff, I can't stop thinking about it. Every time I open the door to my office, I can smell it. I imagine all the spores filling my lungs.

What would you do? Would you wait or do it now? My husband is more of a waiter -- you know he hates to part with his money. Me... any excuse to get rid of carpet is good enough for me:)

Kindergarten

Luc and I walked down to his future kindergarten today. They had a tour for new students. I hated it. I want him to go to the private school up the road, but apparently we didn't donate enough time or money to the church this year. There is another private school that he did get into, but the almost $8K price tag just doesn't work for us right now.
I toured both the private schools and loved them. The classrooms were beautiful, the teachers were very willing to talk and answer all sorts of questions and the overall academic program seemed just what I was looking for. The added bonus of some religion and uniforms made the schools even more attractive.
I didn't go to public elementary school, so I am biased. I feel they are yucky.... but I am crazy. My very smart husband is the product of a public K-college education.

The school is going to be very full this fall -- four kindergarten classes -- so the little ones will have to eat lunch and play in the big yard, with all of those giant 5th graders. I know Luc is going to come home saying "Fuck" on the first day.
The teachers didn't really impress me... but the school doesn't go out of its way to impress you because they know if you had the money to go elsewhere, you would.

The bathrooms are clean, the yard is nice and they have a new computer lab.
I don't know. I think this may all just be that I don't want Luc to grow up and so I don't want him to go to kindergarten at all.
I didn't relay any of my dislike of the school to Luc... I was all "oooh and ahhh and isn't that cool." I want him to love school as much as I did. I want to love his school, but I just have to get over my ideas of public schools not being as good as private.

34

There, I typed it. I'm 34 today. I'm over it... not really.
I'm one of those annoying people who hates birthdays. I don't like thinking about them and about a week before the day each year, I start to get grumpy. At first it's like, "what is wrong with me? Why am I being such a biotch and why am I so depressed?" The day before the big day it dawns on me what the attitude has been all about. It's not about my self-absorbed children or my husband who has seemed "in the way" for the past week. It is my realization that I'm another year older and another year has gone by the same as the last.
OK, so I'm depressed. I feel like Ziggy walking around with a black cloud over my head right now. I will feel better in a few days, but right now it sucks.
We attempted the family dinner out tonight and it went well. We went to a Chinese place and the kids were only part chimp instead of their usual full chimp selves.
My husband got me an ipod -- something I've been desiring for the past few months and it will be cool to plug it in the car or hook it up to some portable device (not yet purchased) to bring outside this summer.
Now I'm enjoying a beer outside and figuring out how I'm going to pull off my Earth Day party tomorrow. There's so much left to do....

On a brighter note, this week I spent $1K. It was the best grand I've ever spent. I got a bunch of rooms in my house painted by pros -- no, not hookers.
I've never hired a painter. I have painted so many rooms I could cry. As I attempted to paint my family room/hallway/bathrooms a few months ago, I came down with pneumonia. I was pretty ill, and the walls remained primed and half painted for a couple of months. Then my wrist started acting up (old injury) and I realized that I just couldn't do it. My husband, who hates to part with money, was hesitant about dropping a large amount of cash on something we should be able to do ourselves. But I persisted and won and he is actually pleased with the results. The shit got done in one freakin day instead of 2 months! If you have the means, I highly recommend picking up a painter:)

The dinner party that should have never been

I could add a picture, but I won't. It is too grotesque.
The day started off fine and I had no expectations for dinner, except that it would have to be somewhat easy since I was going to be out of the house almost all day.
I started the day with a morning birthday party for a classmate of Amanda. We had a good time and the weather, although a bit warm, was perfect for a party in the park.
On the way home we had to stop at the market to pick up some things for t-ball because it was our week for snacks. When I passed the freezer section, I saw a large frozen lasagna that called my name. I don't know why. I'm not the frozen lasagna type of person, but I quickly thought, that would be good to pop in the oven after the game and I don't have to do much.
We got home -- full of sugar and excitement from bouncing around in a Dora bounce house -- and quickly had to head out the door for t-ball.
T-ball was hot and the team has improved. My mom stopped by to watch the game and I invited her to dinner -- even though my house was a wreck and I only had a giant frozen lasagna.
She decided to stop at the market for some garlic bread and chianti.

We get home. Lasagna says it takes 2 hours to cook. Holy shit! Two hours -- it was already 4:45. So I ditched that idea and opted for some tortellini (kids cheer) and a salad.
Fine. Husband decides to cook dinner -- even better.
We sit down to dinner when out of the corner of my eye I spy the dog throwing up on the living room carpet. Bon Appetite!
Clean up the mess. Enjoy a nice dinner.
Kids clear their plates and begin horsing around in the living room. My mom and I were chatting at the table -- with our 2nd glasses of chianti -- when something flew across the room and knocked a wine glass off the table.
Red wine splattered everywhere. My mom's initial reaction was, "Oh my God!". To which my daughter, the person who flung the dog bed across the room, responded by screaming hysterically.
I tried to calm her down before I looked at the damage.
I'm not the type of person who gets mad over spilled milk or things like that.
But when I went to the other side of the table and saw the disaster, my mouth just hung open. Dots of red wine were -- are -- everywhere.
I could have kicked myself for not buying the bottle of "wine away" when I was at Cost Plus yesterday. I saw the bottle and said to myself, "I rarely drink red wine and I've never spilled any, I don't think I'll need this."
I quickly got online to see what could be done. I sprinkled salt all over the stains to stop them from absorbing. Then I poured the other bottle of wine my mom brought (a white wine) all over the mess -- something about the white wine counteracting the red.
I don't think it's gonna work, folks. The carpet is a disaster. It looks like someone was shot at my dinner table.

After dinner we sat outside and were talking when my daughter started wailing (again). Apparently she walked with barefeet on some wood chips and she got a bunch of splinters. My husband had to hold her down while I extracted them.
Overall it was a nice night, but now I have an injured daughter and a ruined carpet and I didn't even get to eat any damned lasagna.

35 days without a car and newspapers

We did it, we went more than a month without owning a car. Yes, we did find it necessary to rent a car for about a total of 8 days out of that 35 -- couldn't shirk our duties as the parents of a t-ball player -- but we went the better part of a month without a vehicle. I should say, *I* went the better part of a month. My husband had his scooter for travel to and from work. But I did it. I hauled bags of groceries and two toddlers in a jogging stroller for miles. We walked to the library, the bank, the park, the mall, the movie theater and school.
We learned to go without things we didn't need because we didn't have a way to get them. We enjoyed spending more time at home and less time with the television. The dog got a lot of exercise and we got a lot of strange looks from our neighbors.

It's all come to an end. Our new Altima was delivered this morning. I'm hoping I've learned a few lessons from this month. In being forced to spend time walking with my kids instead of in the car, where the radio is turned on or the kids are looking at books or toys, I learned a lot about them. We had lots of talks about math, bugs, dinosaur bones and litterbugs. My kids have learned that life isn't always super easy and sometimes you have to carry shit yourself. Lucas has already seems to want to be a bit more self-reliant after a month spend helping me carry bags and things.
The new car is fine, it's generic and something I'll use to get places that are too far to walk, but I hope we can keep the slow pace and enjoy each other's company and enjoy the beautiful city we live in.

As I was preparing dinner tonight a young man came to the door. He was selling subscriptions to the L.A. Times. I've been meaning to restart my weekend subscription for some time, but haven't gotten around to it. It was so nice to talk to an intelligent 16 year old and he seemed very nice and articulate. Usually when I come across a teenager these days and I say something to them, they stare at me with bug eyes and do not respond. It is so weird. I don't remember ever not responding to an adult when I was a teen. But they seem so afraid these days. Maybe I'm just freakin old. Anyway, this kid was a breath of fresh air.
I used to deliver the newspaper -- it was my first job, when I was 12!! Yes, at 12 I was riding around on my bike delivering papers after school and going around by myself collecting money each month. Can you imagine? Now kids don't have that opportunity. There are no more evening papers and I'm sure there never will be again. It was so cool to have my own money at a young age. I used to babysit at 12 as well. These days there are few families that would entrust their kids to a 12 year old. How is a young person to earn money? I think it was a really good experience for me... to earn my own cash, and not by washing my mom's car. It was something separate from my family and it was only by my hard work that I could come by this money -- mostly used for movies and candy:)

Easter was good

All ready to head to Aunt Katie's


We had a very nice but tiring Easter. The kids were up way too early and there were way too many jelly beans floating around the house. I was stoked that Jelly Belly introduced some "natural" jelly beans, so that means no more meltdowns due to artificial colors. My son is extremely sensitive to food dyes, so we try to be careful but usually allow him to have a few things on holidays. Now I don't have to. Whole foods has gummi bears, jelly beans and even fake m&ms without artificial colors. Yeah!!!! I have found a place online that sells lollipops with no fake colors -- I keep those stashed in my purse to give after doc. appointments. If you saw my son about 20 minutes after he ingested artificial colors, you would be amazed.

After the morning watching the new videos the kids received from the bunny, we headed out for our holiday hike. It's become sort of a ritual to hike to the top of Tarantula hill (the kids call it a mountain) on every holiday. It's a nice way to burn off the excesses consumed during a holiday breakfast.

top of tarantula hill

Then it was off to Aunt Katie's for some extended family fun. My sis has an awesome house and yard and the 11 cousins were treated to a huge egg hunt. The eggs weren't huge, but there were a huge number of them. Everyone walked away with bulging bags of easter eggs. My kids were good enough to allow me to remove all the illegal candy. There was wine, ham, angel foodcake with strawberries and cream, and good coffee. The weather was gorgeous and I had a very relaxing time. It is so crazy that just a year ago I would not have even had a minute to sit down because I would have been chasing my kids everywhere. This year it was like, "Lucas, no, I don't know where he is." They are totally good to be on their own while at a party. It is nice and I don't know if I could start over again.


Amanda enjoying the spoils

Hope you all had a great weekend!

Crap! We are being invaded!

I went to pull up the blinds in my kids' room this morning and I looked up and out the window. What I saw truly horrified me -- wasps, many of them. I've written before about our spring battles with these suckers, but this year is going to be horrific considering it is only the 2nd day of spring.
There were 5 or 6 wasps in our eaves -- it's hard to describe, but there are little sections and in five sections a wasp was preparing a nest. Yes, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, 5 little nests being created right next to each other. My kids had a fun morning watching all the action. I was counting the hours until sunset when my husband could move in for the counter-attack.
What the hell is going on? When we lived a few miles away, I rarely saw a wasp cruising our yard. This house seems to put off some sort of wasp pheromone.
I'm scared shitless.
We usually eat lunch outside when the weather is nice, so today we had to bring our little picnic table out front to eat -- there was no way I was hanging out in the backyard with those predators.
My husband knocked down all the nests this evening, but I know they'll be back.
I was so looking forward to spring and summer, but now I only wish we could live in perpetual fall.

Never thought I'd say it and another reason I like my name

I never thought I'd say it, but here goes, satellite radio is freakin' cool. I always thought of it sort of like Tivo -- I don't have Tivo and I'm still totally high and mighty about that:)
I felt the same way about satellite radio until today. Why would I pay to listen to the radio? The only thing on the radio that I pay for is NPR and that is about the only thing I've been listening to lately -- aside from kid music.
Today I found it necessary to rent a car, so I hauled myself, two kids and two booster seats down to the rental place. They had a Hyundai Santa Fe (which, god help me, I love!). The car came equipped with satellite radio, which was programmed to an '80s station. Okay, I was diggin it. The songs weren't the ones you hear over and over on some local radio stations. This evening I was driving to the library to return some books and I turned on the "Heart" station. Holy shit, it was like Kost without the corny djs and letters from lonely hearts. First they played a Chicago tune that immediately transported me to 10th grade. Then I was treated to Barry Manilow's "Mandy", which has a new place in my heart because of my daughter's name. There were a couple more goodies and I found myself sitting in the library parking lot listening to many songs from my teens. Total goodness. On the drive home I flipped to the comedy channel and even that was pretty cool. I don't spend very much time in the car, so I don't think I could justify $12/mo. If I did drive more often, I would totally get this in my car.

Speaking of cars, we should have one sometime next week. I am torn about the whole thing. When I rented the car today and was driving around for errands I felt very free -- but I don't want to feel that way. It's like wanting to give away all of your material goods for the good of others, but still finding yourself coveting someone's pretty earrings or new sofa. It is so damn hard to be less materialistic, especially when you have kids and you want to see them dressed in cute little outfits. They don't give a shit, but I do. I can't resist. Is it important? No -- I know this deep down, but I've been programmed and I can't seem to delete that file from my brain.

Ah, yes, my name. I've always rather liked my name. It is a bit old-timey, and not at all "cute", but for some reason I've always been proud of it -- perhaps too proud.
When we named Amanda, I thought it was cool that she had a bunch of songs with her name in them. My son Lucas isn't quite as lucky -- there are a few songs out there, but some are a bit explicit. There are a bunch of songs with my husband's name, Phil, but they are mostly instrumental, blues or jazz, and he does not like Blues or Jazz (damn him, because I do).
My name, surprisingly, was flush with songs. I didn't even expect one. Eddie Money sang a song called Maureen, as did Sade (love her) and Fountains of Wayne. There are some others, but those are my favs. Cool.

So, who sang a song about you?

Thick or thin

I felt a bit like I have been back in my senior year of high school this past week. We applied at a local private school for my son, who will start kindergarten in the fall. The school is beautiful, small and they have some wonderful programs. The uniforms are an added bonus. Anyway, letters of acceptance were to go out this month and I've been running to the mailbox every day hoping for a letter. Today we got one. I looked at the envelope and it was pretty skimpy -- the Web site said that the acceptance letters would also contain the registration agreements. But the envelope didn't look like it could contain much. I was shaking as I opened the letter... Congratulations, we'd love to have Lucas at our school for the 2008-2009 school year!
We got in! Now there is the little issue of tuition. It's about $7500/year. I'm paying more than that for preschool right now, but if we go to the local public school, I'll pay nothing.
I just get such a good vibe from this Episcopal school and feel that Lucas would really thrive there.
What to do....
I've got about 10 days to make a decision and then talk Phil into agreeing with me.

5 years

It's so hard to believe that some of the young people going over to serve in Iraq now were just becoming teenagers when this whole mess began.

no car days numbered

I've been walking my ass off this week and I've quite enjoyed it. Really.
But all the walking will come to an end in about 10 days -- we have a friend who works for a Nissan dealership, so we'll be leasing a vehicle from them. We did a short lease so that in 2 years we can revisit things and see if we can afford a hybrid. As it is, the altima will get better gas mileage than my van did and I'm hoping that I've developed some good habits in the past couple of weeks.

We walked to dinner tonight with the kids -- the Catholic church up the street (I'm a Catholic who goes to mass sometimes) was having a Fish Fry for lent. They do it every Friday and it was really cool. Lots of friendly people, entertainment, and, all you Catholics can appreciate, a 50/50 raffle. We didn't win the raffle, but the kids had a blast. It really reminded me about the sense of belonging you can feel in belonging to a church. It's the people -- you may not agree with everything the leadership of a church says, but the members of that church often have a lot in common with you.

The credit game

FICO
Fucking Insolent Corrupt Organization

I hate the credit reporting agencies. Who are they to tell me I have average credit? I was checking our reports today and was shocked at our less than stellar number. The reasons astound me and seem so unfair. We have no bad debts. No collections on our accounts, not one single late payment. Yes, we have a high debt-ratio, but all bills have been paid on time year after year. So what's the problem? Simply that we have used our credit and hold high balances on our open accounts.
We've had a difficult year and had to use a lot of our personal credit for my husband's business. On top of that, my husband has taken out a loan for his business in his own name. So, on paper it looks like we are responsible for all the debt, when in fact, his business pays for much of them.
Aye!
In the past few days we've been able to pay off more than half of our personal debt -- by way of selling my car. And the rest should be knocked out at the end of the month. So, in theory our numbers should go up since we'll have no negatives on our account and also no balances on our credit accounts (will still have that nasty business loan). But it still chaps my hide. I'm a good citizen. I pay my taxes, I pay my bills and I bathe my children. Why does this number go around and tell people that I am less than trustworthy?

No car thing

We are still a family without a car and I'm feeling fine about it. I can walk the kids to school in about 12 minutes and then it's 12 minutes back. That is almost the same amount of time it takes me to load them into the car and drive to school, unload and then get back. I say my goodbye quicker now, so I can get to work sooner.
I am spending less money overall because I'm not spending any free time shopping -- I'm at home working, playing with the kids or cleaning the messes said kids create. I have the groceries delivered (I often find free delivery coupons online) and I spend less that way because there are no impulse buys.
Even our dog makes out because she gets to enjoy our company more often.

So, what's the problem, you say? It's the pressure, man. The pressure from the husband, the mom and all of the others who tsk, tsk when they hear we are a family of four without an automobile. I imagine people think I'm some weirdo and one step away from pushing a shopping cart while talking to myself. It's not that I care if people think I'm too poor to have a car. I don't really give a rat's ass about keeping up the the Jones' new BMW. But I do care if people think I'm a bad parent or a bit dim because I don't want a car.

If it weren't for the outside pressures, I could seriously see myself living without a car for quite a while. I was watching a program with Phil the other night and it really scared me. It was a global warming piece -- yes, I've seen An Inconvenient Truth. But this show caught me at just the right time. I heard the message loud and clear that one day soon there will come a point of no return. Got it? A point of no return. A point when we can't save the planet for our children and grandchildren. A point when we give them not hope, but despair. I saw it and said to myself that I've got to take some action. How can I expect everyone else to do so if I don't? I curse the Hummers driving up and down the road, but I still drive from point A to point B when I don't really have to. I spend on things that I don't need. I take a long shower with the water steaming hot. Something about the program made me feel like small changes aren't enough any longer. We all need to make drastic changes.
I already do the little things -- bring my bags to Trader Joes, use natural cleaners in my house, run the dishwasher when full, turn off lights and machines when not needed, bring bags on my walks so I can pick up trash. But what's the biggest problem right now? Our dependence on gas-guzzling cars. Even with the increasing price of gas, I see new large vehicles on the road every day.

In giving into my husband's pleas for me to find a vehicle, I started to browse the listings for hybrid or alternative fuel cars. There is one major problem with most of them -- they are cost-prohibitive. If we do buy a car, we want it to be safe. Any mid-sized car would do, but with a mid-sized hybrid, you are looking at about $25K. VW is coming out with a diesel suv wagon thingy that sounds really provocative, but it doesn't come to the US until September and my husband nearly died when I told him I'd like to wait that long.

If I do cave, we'll probably just go for a standard, fuel-efficient vehicle and try to drive as little as possible. The problem, of course, is that if you have it, you tend to use it. I don't miss it right now, but I don't know how tempting it will be to just hop in the car to grab a gallon of milk like I used to.

This post has gone on much longer than I intended. I'll just close by saying that I'm going to challenge myself to make some big changes in my daily life and I ask you to do the same. Our planet is depending on us to take care of her before it's too late.

They're baaaaaaack!!!!!!!!!!!!

Spring is finally here. But it's not March 20th, you say. Well, tell that to the wasps who have returned to keep me captive inside my house.
They show up every spring and build a nest in the same location -- right under where I take out the trash. I just popped outside to empty the garbage and saw two huge suckers flying up into the eaves. Damn them! Who are they to invade my peace and sanctuary?
My husband has knocked down 4 nests since we moved here and I'll have to send him out tonight to do another. I'm sure we'll have at least one, but probably two more nest attempts before the end of summer.
I had dreams of going to the side of the house to pull weeds after I'm done with work for the day, but I'll have to put it off for another day. If you read some of my posts from last spring you'll know that I have an extreme (ridiculously extreme) phobia of flying, stinging insects.

Late

Our local elementary school is about a 5 minute walk from our house. We pass it as we walk to preschool in the morning and most days I am hitting the elementary school right around the time that class should be starting. I've noticed something odd recently... a lot of kids are late for school every day. Parents are pulling up to school a good 3 minutes after the bell has rung. Kids run with backpacks and sweatshirts askew -- they run as the school attendants begin to lock all the gates.
OK... my kids are both in preschool and can show up anytime from 8:15 - 9 a.m., so I shouldn't really throw stones, but come on, people. I don't think I was ever late for elementary school. My parents had to manage 7 kids and we were always there on time. I know, I know, we've got a lot going on in our lives. Moms and Dads are both working, so they have to do a lot more to prepare in the morning. But don't we have an obligation to teach our kids how important school is and, equally, how important time is to other people -- the other kids who are in class, the teacher who has worked on the lesson plan....
When we show our kids that we don't have to be there on time, even though other people are, we are teaching them that other people aren't as important as we are. It's an easy way to show kids how to respect other people.

I detest tardiness. Yes, I have been guilty of it and so I try to forgive tardiness in others, but it's one thing to be late yourself and something else to make your child late.

We'll see what song I'm singing next year when Lucas starts kindergarten -- "we were up so late doing homework, I was out of cereal and my washer wasn't working." I know that I'll be tested, but I hope I can pass. I hope my kids won't be late.

Day three kicks my butt and tv

Day three is done. My 33 year old muscles are aching but I'm determined. Before I had my son, I was a workout freak. I was in excellent shape and hit the gym at least 4 times a week. Since I gave birth, I have become a bit of a slacker. Yes, I chase after the kids at the park, and throw the ball around with them, but I've not dedicated a specific amount of time to exercise every day. I guess that is why the muscles in my back are screaming at me to stop pushing around about 120 pounds for miles and miles -- that's two kids at about 88 pounds total and a jogging stroller that I'm guessing weighs at least 40 pounds.

Walking everywhere is fine and it really doesn't take too much more time than driving around locally -- when you count getting kids in and out of the car, hitting stop lights and finding parking.

We will have to have a hiatus tomorrow afternoon since we must rent a car. We have to attend my aunt's 85th birthday celebration and I'm just not up to walking 15 miles each way:)

As for television, I've started to restrict it. Lucas watched almost no television when he was a little tot. But with the addition of his sister and me starting to work from home, things changed. Somewhere along the line they got out of hand. The kids are early risers -- about 6 a.m. -- and that's not late enough for me to get up before them and get shit done. So while they much on rice krispies and watch some noggin or pbs, I shower, start coffee, pack lunches and check in with work. This started to become a routine of tv from 6:30 to 8. Then, mom has got to have peace while she makes dinner, so they get another 45 minutes or so in the evening. Add in 20 minutes here and there while I make important phone calls or wrap up billing stuff and you are up to a ridiculous amount of tv for a preschooler. The madness must stop. I was all high and mighty because the kids don't watch commercial tv -- Noggin does have some limited commercials, but absolutely no Nickolodeon or Network tv allowed for the kids. But they were watching too much. I started to just say no to tv during the day. At first I was met with much complaining, but the kids are learning to be creative at 7 a.m.
I still have the 30-45 minutes of tv allowed while I prepare dinner, and I don't see that going away any time soon.

I used to wonder how my mom did it -- we only watched limited tv in the evenings and on weekends. But now I remember that we could just walk to a friends house, wander around outside or do whatever the hell we wanted. If we were in the yard for hours, my mom didn't fret. In this day and age, parents have such a short leash on their kids, that no wonder kids watch so much tv. We don't let them ride their tricycles around the block alone, so they hover.
I don't see myself shooing the kids out the front door on their own for a couple of years, so I just have to make sure my paint and play-do cupboard is fully stocked.

Gas

My kids are at an age where passing gas in front of others is funny. My daughter is very quick to say, "excuse me" before she falls over laughing. My son just thinks it is the funniest thing ever if he has gas while showing me his latest ninja moves.
I don't know at what age this changes, but apparently by the age of 9 or 10, it isn't cool to do this in front of the opposite sex.
We were at my son's karate class today and an older boy, waiting in the wings for the next class, was messing around with some karate moves. He was apparently trying to impress his classmate, a girl, who was standing next to him. Amanda and I were sitting next to them when we heard it... the unmistakable fart. The boy quickly moved to the opposite wall. The girl then went to stand next to him and said, "you stink." He was quick to reply that someone had farted, but it wasn't him. He went on and on about this for about 2 minutes... "someone farted, but it wasn't me."
I was very tempted to help him out and say, "Oh, sorry, I had Taco Bell for lunch," but I didn't. Instead I watched as the red-faced boy went outside to wait for his class to begin.

Day two done

Day two without a car went off without a hitch. We walked down to the market to pick up a few things since my mother and aunt were coming for a visit.
In the afternoon we walked down to the park for Luc's karate class.
So far, living without a car has made me slow down. Even though you might think I would have to speed up because getting places takes longer, the past two days have just forced me to use my time more wisely.
When the kids were all in their class at the park yesterday, I sat outside the room and read -- normally I would drive home and get some work done for about 30 minutes before racing back to the park. It was really nice. I feel like the kids and I don't have to rush places and they stop and pick dandelions and blow the seeds, or they try to avoid walking on the cracks in the sidewalk. I haven't been heard to say, "Hurry up!" quite as much.

Even if we do end up with a car this weekend, I hope I can keep up the slower pace.

1st morning

Got the kids out the door at 8:15 a.m. Walked the .86 miles to their school. Dropped them off, chatted with teacher for a moment and then headed the .86 miles back home. I got back at 9 a.m. and now it's time for work. Not too bad.

+++++++ Continued
First full day is done.
Got a bunch of work done and then walked down to pick up 3 kids. We made it about halfway to the park and my nephew's mom pulled up -- she got off work a bit early. She took the boys and headed to the park. Amanda and I tried to beat her, but my jogging stroller was no match for her German wagon. The kids had a great time at their class and chatted about it as we strolled home from the park. Overall the day was very good. The kids don't miss the car, yet....

To be quite honest, I think I could do this for a while, but the outside pressure is great. It isn't in the nature of a Californian to be without a car. I'm getting grief from all sides, and add to that the pressure from my husband who feels that not owning a car says something about his manhood -- not something good.
Today my mom seemed quite dismayed when I told her I had no car. Others have also looked at me like I have 3 eyes.
Whatever, I may give into the pressure, as I usually do.

Car free day 1 and kindergarten worries

Well, I've been car-free for about 6 hours now... so far it's alright:)
We rented a car over the weekend so that we could drive around town to check out some used cars. Nothing was knocking our socks off. In fact, everything was scaring us away. We have decided to just take things one day at a time. I dropped the car off at the rental place (at a local mall) and then walked the 1.5 miles to pick my kids up from school. Then we all walked the .8 miles home. The fresh air seemed to do them good.
I've mapped out some routes to places we normally go and things should be ok, until I want to see my mom, and then I'm going to have to find a bus route or cab it. Tomorrow we'll walk to school, I'll come home and dig into work. I'll bus it out to the mail place where I pick up my work mail and then I'll pick the kids up (plus cousin) and head down to the park, .5 miles from school, for a class they are all taking. We'll then walk home from the park (.75 miles).
On Wednesday I'll do some work in the morning, then I'll pack the kids into the double stroller and walk the 1.75 miles to the library, spend some time there, hit the park next door for some fun and lunch and then walk 1.75 miles home, stopping to pick up a few things at the market.
That's the plan, anyway... for any of you who know me, that could change at the drop of a hat.

As I said, we'll take it slow and if I go too crazy we'll just have to figure something out. Ideally, though, we'll stick with this plan for about 3 months and then lease a new car. By then all debts (except for the house) will be paid, kids will be in school full time and we'll be in a much better place.

Now on to kindergarten news....
My son will be starting the big K in the fall. I've been looking at a couple of local private schools -- we might win the lottery this summer -- and one of them is just wonderful. It actually costs less than I'm paying for his preschool, but my husband has been waiting for the day that freeschool starts. So, while I know he'll most likely have to attend our neighborhood school (a mere .25 mile walk), I wish he didn't have to. I never went to public elementary school, so I don't know much about it, but my mother has planted the seed that public education stinks.

On the way home from preschool today we stopped by our neighborhood K-5 school to pick up the kindergarten registration packet. The woman in the office was nice enough and I know that many parents like the school, but still, I'm nervous. After reading through some of the paperwork, I think I have a right to be.
The school gives you this list of things to work on with your child over the summer. Things like counting, identifying colors, learning the alphabet (these kids are 5, haven't they known these things for a while?) and reading. The reading bit was what got me. The flier says, "Familiarity with books -- read a lot of book to you child!"
No, I don't have a typo in there, I'm quoting the flier!
Now I'm freaking out. I may not always use the proper grammar and my spelling is atrocious, but I'm not teaching a whole classroom of 5-6 year olds.
I'm really worried -- I'm really, really worried.

Vanagon out... what else?

OK, so the Vanagon is out. Last night I had bad dreams of an oil-burning VW. I completely forgot that my parents owned two vw buses in the mid '80s. These things weren't exactly safe. If I were single, perhaps I might go this route, but looking at my two "angels"....

We test drove the Mazda5 this evening. This was high on the list because of the lease offer of $199/mo. and it seats 6. But there are no government crash test ratings and the thing is tiny. Everything is extremely cramped and my 6' 5" husband looked very uncomfortable in the driver seat. Since he does all of our driving on long trips, I just can't do that to him.

The next option would be something like a Honda Accord, but then we aren't really saving any money, which was the point of selling the van.

My husband does fit very well in German cars. Americans are tiny -- because their population has been diluted by the Irish. We are now looking at *very* used BMWs. We've found a couple for about 5K and that will make everything worth it. If we can walk away with a 5K car that will last us for 3 years we will be ahead of the game. Plus, my hubby fits very well in a BMW. I think he decided to be so tall so that he could only drive luxury cars:)
The funny thing is that he drives a scooter to work every day. It is so funny (and cute) to see a 6' 5", 240 pound guy on a tiny scooter. I am blessed that he isn't vain.

Bye, bye minivan

We are no longer the owners of a minivan and I've not shed a single tear. We purchased our van about 2.5 years ago and I have to admit that it is freakin awesome with young kids. It can be a spaceship while you are in the garage doing laundry, the back seat makes a great changing table, you can easily climb around to buckle everyone and even bring many cousins on trips to the park.

Yes, it looks stupid and very uncool, but the convenience makes up for all that. I'm 33 and a mom, I lost "cool" about 5 years ago.

We sold the van to a very nice family today and the reason I've shed a tear is because we are going to pay off some major debt. We have way too many bills and we need to pay them off. Right now we are without a car.
The initial plan was to remain without a car for a few months and, because of the area we live in, it is "almost" doable. We can walk to the market, mall, doctor, school and parks. But we can't walk to my mom's, my work mail center or my brother's house. Also, we started t-ball this spring, and we can't walk to the t-ball fields. Adding up the price of cabs (buses around here are a joke) put us off on the idea.

We were thinking of leasing a Mazda5 because it seats 6, but after a search on Craig's list, we found something that might be even better.... a 1987 Vanagon.

Dude, I remember going on many trips with my bff -- we went camping, on beach trips and berry picking in the Vanagon. It was awesome.
We've got a financial plan now, so in two years we should be able to purchase a new car. Can a Vanagon do us right for the next two years? If we go this way, it will put us ahead in our gameplan.
We're going to check out a couple of Vanagons this weekend, so we'll see....

Snow day

We hit the steeps of Frazier Park last Sunday. It was a perfect day for sledding and the kids had a blast. The last time we went was 2 years ago and Lucas was definitely ready to sled his butt off. He and Phil went down some pretty steep hills and Luc ended up with his face in the snow numerous times. But his favorite activity of the day was licking the snow. Every time we turned around the kid was on the ground eating nature's snow cone.
We made a tiny snowman -- we named him TrashEye McGillicutty because one of his eyes was a budwieser bottlecap we found on the ground.

The one downside to these daytrips is that, as far as gear goes, we are unprepared. We don't have snowboots, snow jackets or snow pants. Why would I shell out $500+ outfitting our family for a once a year trip? We don't have the cash, so we just bought a bottle of scotch guard and doused our jeans. Yes, folks, we were the family in jeans and sneakers at the snow. It wasn't a pretty sight, but the kids didn't give a crap. There were some other families around and they were all decked out in the latest snow fashions.
It reminded me of when I was a kid.... We never had money for snow clothes, so we did the old scotch guard and jean thing way back then. As a "tween" I always swore that I wouldn't be like that as a grownup. Well, look at me now:)

Bye, bye binky. Bye, bye sleep.

My daughter finally gave up her binky three days ago. She's been on the fence about the whole thing lately, but on Thursday night, we couldn't locate a "dummy tit" anywhere (the dog has been finding them lately). My husband, who has been trying to get our daughter to give the thing up for more than a year, said, "well, that's it, no binky tonight."
Of course, he got to put her to bed that first night -- she did fine. Friday was a very busy day and she only asked for it a couple of times, but by bedtime, she was jones'n for it. We had the cousins over for a sleepover and I thought that would distract her. I was wrong.
She finally fell asleep at about 9:30. At 1:30 a.m. she was in my bed. My husband retreated to the couch because he was pissed that I allowed her to sleep with me -- he thinks it will set a precedent or something. Our kids are fairly good sleepers now, but it has taken a lot of work and he is very leery of anything that might allow them to fall into bad habits.

So we're at 1:30 and my daughter is like a junkie looking for a fix. I really felt bad for her. I couldn't console her -- she was wringing her hands, jumping out of bed every 2 minutes looking for "something" and just overall nervous. Poor little thing. We got through the night, but my eyes needed an extra dose of visine.

Tonight was bad putting her down to sleep. She was already very tired from little sleep last night and she wouldn't lie down. I cuddled up with her in bed but she was moving all over the place. Finally, she asked me to put her stuffed pig in the freezer for the second time (long story) and I said no. She got pissed and so did I... I had had it with the constant whining all day... and I said, "why don't I just throw your piggy in the trash!" She looked at me and said, "Mommy, that's not nice. Piggy is a stuffed animal, not a toy. I'm going to throw you right in the trash." At that point I was ready for it.

She's sleeping now, and I feel bad for losing my temper.

On a good note, tee-ball practice went much better today. My brother, who is coaching his daughter's softball team, showed me a few pointers and we passed them on to our son. He seemed to pick them up. He stopped a few balls, threw overhand, and ran the bases in order:)

tee-ball and too much chocolate

Today was Valentine's Day and that means my kids were bombarded with candy of all sorts at school and from grandparents. Everywhere you turn in our house there is a little bag filled with treats. It's hard to keep track of all the stuff and that is why about 10 minutes before we left for my son's first tee ball practice I suddenly realized that my daughter had stuffed a bunch of chocolate in her mouth. Uh-oh, I thought, this is not good.
No time to worry, got to get to tee ball on time (I hate being tardy for anything).
We headed out the door and were back 3 minutes later because I had forgotten my son's glove.

How was tee ball practice? It was painful to watch. My son got out there and hadn't a clue what to do. We've tried to throw and catch balls in the past, but the kid isn't a natural. Every "tee" we've bought in the past has ended up becoming a sword or something of that nature and is broken in a matter of days.
He threw underhand, folks. He couldn't catch a ball and he tried to hit lefty even though he is right handed. He ran from first base to third and then when it was time for him to run home, he headed back towards first. It wouldn't have been so bad, but all the other kids looked like they had been playing for years. He is the youngest on the team (just turned 5) but I was embarrassed that I hadn't prepared him more. The great thing was that he didn't notice his lack of skills and he had great fun. We'll practice a lot more at home to hone his "skills".

After practice we decided to head to the sporting goods store to pick up a real bat for Luc and some of the stuff he'll need once games start. About 5 minutes after we got to the store my daughter didn't look too good. She suddenly said, "I'm not going to throw up Momma." That usually means she's about to blow chunks.
I signaled to my husband that we had to leave asap. I took my daughter to the car and waited for Phil to pay for our things. On the drive home my daughter didn't look good. I grabbed the bag that held the new equipment, dumped everything out and held the bag up to her face.
It wasn't a pretty end to her Valentine's Day. But maybe she'll learn her lesson for next year:)
She recovered after an episode of Scooby Doo and was ready to join us all for dinner. She even had the nerve to ask for a treat after dinner -- I refused and she didn't protest, so maybe she did learn something.

First Barbie Bites the Dust

So my daughter received her first Barbie Doll for her birthday the other day. I remember really, really wanting a Barbie car when I was a little kid -- well, my 3 year old daughter received a Barbie and a sporty purple convertible from Aunt Cindy.

I'm afraid that Barbie won't be driving the car all that much. She was the victim of a freak chewing accident. I got home from dropping the kids at school and I had (still have) a ton of work to do. I grabbed a greenie bone for my dog -- you know, so she'll have nice breath -- and then turned my attention to my billing software. I heard Ruby chewing on her bone. About 5 minutes later a I turned to give her a pat and saw a bunch of tan plastic all over the floor. Barbie's leg was in Ruby's mouth and both of her arms were already gone.
I think 3 is too young for a Barbie anyway.

Christmas and Birthdays are over and the dog is house-trained (sort of)

Quite a bit of time has passed since my last post. I've been super busy and just didn't feel like writing anything down at the end of the day.
Since I last posted, we gained a four-legged friend, my son turned 5, we celebrated Christmas and my daughter's 3rd birthday.
My daughter will officially be 3 tomorrow.

Let's start with the first thing... our four-legged friend, Ruby. Ruby is named after the character from Ruby and Max -- but she is not as much of a biotch. My brothers approve of the name because it happens to be their favorite programming language. I'll just let them believe that she is named after that:) The first week we had Ruby the Rocket, she was a dream dog. We rescued her, so we have no idea what type of dog she is or how old she is. They estimate she is between 8 months and 2 years old. She has some terrier in her. When it started raining around here, she started peeing in the house. I had just finished with potty-training my daughter about 3 months previous, so I was a bit dismayed to have to be scrubbing carpets and washing bedding all day long. I think we have things fixed up again and she only pees inside if my husband gets her too excited and then picks her up -- must have some cocker spaniel in there somewhere.

A few weeks after we got Ruby, my son turned 5 . We had a really fun party for him, but I won't bore you with those details. I just want to say that 5 is a truly magical age. And I don't mean that in any sarcastic way. It seems like the day my son turned 5, he turned into a completely different boy. Gone is the difficult son who fought with his sister at every turn. Gone is the boy who cried everytime he scraped his knee or got water in his eyes. He gets his own snacks, he buckles sis into her booster seat, he even helps me wash the windows. I loved him before and thought he was awesome, but now my mind is blown almost every day by how mature and caring he is becoming. Don't get me wrong, folks, he is still a boy. He still runs around like a monkey and if we are in a store, he can't keep his hands off anything, but he is becoming such a unique person and I love that. 5 is the best... so far.

Three year old girls, on the other hand, I can do without. Starting about a month ago, my daughter started in with the terrible twos (and she'll be three tomorrow). She is not someone you want to be around. I have to hang out with her because I'm her mom, but stay away if you aren't related. Everything is so dramatic and if you tell her no or correct her about something... even in the most loving way... the waterworks turn on. She's sharp as a tack, but a little juvenile:)

We celebrated her birthday today at Chuck E. Cheese. It was a co-birthday with her cousin who will be turning 4 shortly. She also has a cousin who turns 3 on Monday and one who turns 6 on Tuesday. It's a busy month for my family. I highly recommend the co-birthday thing from an economic standpoint:) We don't have to do the party thing again and the parents of the kids make out because we split the bill.

We survived the holidays, with a very full house. I am a freak when it comes to stuff being everywhere, but I didn't go too crazy while we had 8 people sleeping in our little house for 3 nights. I did find myself pulling out the vacuum at inappropriate moments, but that's as far as I went. I didn't go around lifting people's glasses and sliding coasters underneath.

I hope you all had a happy December and a wonderful New Year. I feel optimistic that this is going to be a great year.

Reading is fun!

My little boy is a reader:) I never thought I would get so excited by the sentence, "Mat sat on Mac."
We bought Lucas some Bob Books a couple of months ago and at first he wasn't too interested. He's known his letters for a few years now, and has known their sounds for quite some time, too, but he didn't want to sit down and actually put letter sounds together.
About a month ago, I gave him a choice of activities for an afternoon and he chose reading the Bob Books. The first few days were a real struggle -- his first instinct was to go for the long sound of vowels but these books start with most vowels using their short sound.
But now we've moved onto our second set of books and he is reading in the hallway to himself, sounding out words, while I brush Amanda's teeth.
I admit that I'm one of those annoying parents who cheers when my kid goes down the slide, or starts swinging on the swing by himself, so of course, everytime he reads a string of new words, I give him a high five.
He brought his books to school for show and tell and both of his teachers came up to me at the end of the day to remark on how well he is reading and asked how often we practice. I beamed with pride and it almost canceled out the previous talk I had with his teachers about my boy's rambunctious behavior in the classroom.

I don't think I started reading until I was probably 6 years old. Luc is almost 5, so he's got me beat already.

License Plate Cover Seen Today

My other toy
has tits


I guess he must have paid a lot for them if he feels the need to tell the world.

Mellow Thanksgiving and Ghostriding Causes Me to Break My Butt

The members of the Crouse Haus headed down to O.C. to visit the Grandparents Crouse for a little Thanksgiving goodness. The highlight of the trip, for me, was making it down there in under an hour and fifteen minutes on Wednesday night. We have never made it down there that quickly before. It was amazing... the kids barely had time to get started complaining when we pulled up in the driveway. This is just the third time in my life that I've been away from my siblings and parents on Thanksgiving and it was very mellow. I come from a family of 7 kids, so when you add spouses and kids, the place gets wild. This year there were just six of us and it was nice. There was room for everyone at one table and there weren't a zillion different dishes that I felt obligated to try.
We hit South Coast Plaza the day after Thanksgiving just to watch the shoppers. Holy crap, I cannot believe how many people were there. It was like a movie, with people bumping into one another, strollers loaded with so much crap that the babies were being dragged along by their parents. We left just spending $2 to ride the carousel and a bit on lunch. Nice. I've done most of my shopping online and just have a few odds and ends to pick up. The hardest part for me is wrapping, because I am a shitty wrapper.

Thank God I have a laptop, because I'm typing this while lying down. I think I broke my tailbone today. My husband says it's just bruised a bit, but shit, it hurts. My kids love it when my husband straps them into the double stroller and ghostrides them. He stands in our culdesac and gives them a trememdous push and they ride all the way to the top of our driveway, where I am waiting to give them a shove back down to my husband. They freak out it is so much fun. Hubby ate a little too much spinach for lunch and he gave them too big of a push this afternoon. They came zooming at me -- only a few inches behind me was the garage door -- and I couldn't fully stop the thing. I don't know exactly what happened, except I went flying in the air and landed square on my ass. It hurt like a bitch! That's 115 pounds (well, probably 118 after the Thanksgiving feast) coming down on my little tailbone. Over the course of the afternoon, the pain has increased. I just pray I won't be sitting on a donut this week at work.

nanowrimo a little behind...

I got a late start with nanowrimo.org because I didn't find out about the thing until we were well into November. What a great idea, and just what I need to put a fire under my ass.
I'm only up to about 3,800 words so I doubt I'll "win" this year, but hey, it's good practice. My husband has taken the kids out this afternoon so I can get a bit more words down, and I needed to take a break -- take a break by writing more.

This afternoon my husband asked when I was going to finish my book and bring in a million bucks. I replied that I needed to be rich so that I could devote all time to writing instead of pushing papers at work and scrubbing toilets on the side. He said that once I made my million I could "write for a living." But there's the catch 22, right. I need money in order to keep the dream alive. I find that at the end of the day -- after putting in time with work, caring for the kiddos and keeping the house from falling part -- my brain is in a fog. The past few months have been dry. I am all too happy to pick up a book and stick my nose in it for 2 hours in the evening rather than spending that type pounding on the keyboard.

So, here I am with another hour or two of writing time -- minus the 15 it took me to get dinner in the oven -- and I'm taking a quick break to write some nonsense here. It may be silly, but it does help clear my head. Writing down the day to day junk here gets it out of my head and leaves room for better things.

Bee Movie gets an A and where are my kids?

I took the kids + cousin Ben to see Bee Movie today. I was a little worried because it was PG and I thought it might not hold their interest, but at less than 90 minutes running time, I decided to give it a go. The kids loved it and so did I. A few folks didn't make it through the movie, but my charges sat almost quietly through the entire thing. They did eat their weight in junior mints and I had to take out a small home equity loan to pay for the movie and snacks, but it was worth it.
Now they are all happily building a fort in the living room and I have a few minutes to waste.

Speaking of the good behavior at the movies, what the hell has happened to my kids lately? A few weeks ago I was ready to tear my hair out. They were constantly fighting and never listening to a word I was saying. The past two weeks have been, well, strange. I am getting compliments on how well-behaved my kids are and now I wonder what the hell I was doing wrong for so long.

I have been plenty stressed out the past 6 months or so.... mostly about money and jobs, both mine and my husband's. Those situations haven't gotten better. Husband seems to keep getting bad news and taking out business loans, while medicare hasn't reimbursed his business since April! 80% of his patients are medicare, so that basically means no money for the business. Apparently a lot of PTs and doctors are having trouble with medicare, so we're not alone, but shit, we're talking the death of a business. Anyway, my anxiety level was at an all time high and trying to meditate or exercise my anxiety away wasn't working. After yelling at my kids for something trivial because I was stressed out, I decided to ask my doctor for a little help. 13 days into taking medication for my anxiety and I feel like a new person.

I didn't realize how much my anxiety could have been affecting my kids until I noticed how their behavior started to improve as I started to feel better. They weren't little out of control monsters, their mother was.

Invasion

The invasion has begun and I'm on a mission of destruction. The other day some ants invaded the master bathroom. I got rid of them and hoped that would be that. The next morning as Lucas was using the kids' bathroom he yelled that he was surrounded by ants... they hadn't gone, just moved. Ants in my house are one of my worst nightmares. The kids don't bring food into their rooms and I try to keep things pretty clean by dusting and vacuuming regularly -- apparently, the ants don't care. They want in.

I called my Orkin guy because we have a service every two months around the outside of the house to keep ants and spiders at a minimum. The guy came out this morning and took care of the problem in the bathroom. About an hour ago I went to put the kids down for a nap. I decided to lie down with them for a bit because I was damn tired. A few minutes into naptime, I heard son saying, "I see ants!" I looked up and sure enough, there were hundreds of critters trailing all along the baseboards. I quickly shooed the kids into my room and I tried to get a handle on the situation.
Of course, since this is the kids' room, I don't want to fill it with Raid. I filled a bottle up with vinegar and sprayed all over. They were under the mattresses, along the wall, climbing on the bookcase... everywhere. Help!
After soaking them with vinegar, I sprinkled all around with baking soda. I'm not sure what else to do that is natural. I will wait for everything to dry and then vacuum and dump the vacuum bag. If they keep coming back I'm going to abandon the house and move in with my mom:) The thought of an ant climbing on my precious child while he is sleeping is more than I can bear.

Anyone get rid of ants indoors without using chemicals? I don't mind spraying that stuff outside, but inside... I'm a little leery.

It's all relative and Halloween movie suggestions

I stopped by the local CVS store today to pick up new toothbrushes for the kids -- we had an ant invasion in the kid's bathroom (I swear it is clean) and I found a few of the critters on the toothbrushes. Yuck! Anyway, we had to stop by the Halloween section to try on scary masks. Amanda was scared of all of them until Lucas picked up a hockey mask, and said, "Look, Amanda, this one isn't scary at all." "You're right, Lucas," she said, as she picked up her own hockey mask to try on and my two little Jasons walked up and down the aisle wondering why people were running for their lives. My kids haven't seen Friday the Thirteenth, so the hockey mask thing isn't a bit scary. I really found that amusing. Guess I need to get out more.

Every Halloween, I rent the movie Halloween and carve my pumpkin. Since the kids came along, we carve the pumpkin first and I save the scary movie for when they are tucked in bed. Then hubby and I bake our pumpkin seeds and watch the show. I know, it is a cheesy horror flick from the '70's but for some reason, that movie always leaves me anxious for the next few nights. I'll turn out the lights and that music starts playing in my head. I usually have about 3 or 4 nights of not sleeping well.
Anyway, I think I'm going to make a change this year and skip watching Halloween, even though I love it. I need my sleep these days, so a nice, old-timey thriller will do.
If anyone reads this and has any suggestions, let me know.
I'm thinking along the lines of "Sorry Wrong Number" or "Dial M for Murder".

First day of school

My daughter had her first day of school today:)
She barely had time to say goodbye to me as I dropped her off -- so much for first day jitters.
She's been going to the school for a year and half now with me to drop off my son, so she is familiar with all the teachers and many of the kids. She is a favorite of the other two Amanda's who already attend -- that makes three Amandas in a very small preschool.
After the drop-off, which I expected to take a while, but actually only took a few minutes, I headed home to dig into work. Man, did I get some work done today. It's amazing how much I can accomplish in 4 hours when I am not constantly interrupted to have a tea party or dress up like Batman. I was really lucky to have more than 2.5 years with daughter right by my side, but I was more than ready to have her start her education:)
I think we'll all be a little better off with the kids in school a few hours a week and my boss will be happy that our customers are getting some attention.

Tonight my daughter called grandma (my mom-in-law) to tell her about the first day. MIL said that I must have been staring at the walls wondering what to do with myself while the kids were away. I had to walk in the other room and count to ten... come on, woman, I have a JOB outside of laundry and cooking and I barely had time to finish up before I gobbled down a Lean Cuisine (at my desk) and ran out the door to pick the kids up in time. I know she meant well, but damn, it really made me feel like she doesn't know beans about me.

Confusion... is it really mine? Decisions....

After re-reading my last post, it seems that I am the one who is confused, not my kids.
They are asking totally logical questions but they just aren't the ones I was expecting yet. We're all ready for "why is the sky blue?" and all that, but haven't given much thought to questions about different types of people or families that are out there.
I did tell my son that, yes, some boys do marry other boys, but that most people happen to marry someone of the opposite sex. Is that all I need to say at this point? Do I need to add more, like it's OK to marry someone of the same sex but I'm hoping we don't have to cross that bridge? Doesn't that make it sound like I don't approve? I want to teach the kids to be accepting of all good humans out there and to care for other people no matter the color of their skin, the language they speak or if they choose a mate who has the same body parts as themselves. All of those things are easy for me to talk to them about at this point in time, but I'm wondering how I'm going to handle things when they demand more of an explanation.

The Crouse Haus is under a tremendous amount of stress lately. My job, which I've had for more than 12 years, is on shaky ground and I don't know if it will be there in a few months. My husband's clinic is having issues right now and we aren't bringing in the same income we were when we purchased this house with a huge mortgage. We've been in the red for about 9 months now and the savings have vanished. My husband seems to be totally out to lunch concerning these issues and being that I am the one who handles all the finances, I feel that I am shouldering all the stress right now. I've tried to approach the subject of possibly selling our house and his response was to bring in an extra $50/mo by renting out the side of our house to someone for RV or boat storage.
Of course, for my husband, moving "down" would be a totally shot at his ego. Here he is, working 50 hours a week at his own clinic and he can't even afford a decent house for his family. I don't look at it like that, but he does.
Our options are to try to cut costs at home -- cancel cable, never turn on lights, eat spaghetti every night, shop at used clothing stores, cut our own hair and cancel Christmas and vacations for the next 3 years.
Option 2 would be to sell our home and find a nice townhouse or possibly rent a place for a year or two.
Anyone out there rent with kids? I'm wondering if the kids will suffer by not living in a "neighborhood". Will other kids want to come over to play? We've owned a house since before we had the kids and I grew up living in a regular single family dwelling.

One thing is for sure, something's got to give. For my own mental health and the mental health of my kids, I'm hoping husband will go for option 2.

My kids are confused

My daughter demands to wear her brother's Power Ranger pajamas every night and now she insists that she "must" be Robin (from Batman and Robin fame) for Halloween. She has some princess dressup stuff from grandma and her cousin will loan her a mermaid costume, but no, she has to be Robin.

Yesterday my son asked me if he could marry his cousin, Benjamin. I told him no, you can't marry your cousin. "Well," he said, "I want to marry a boy." Oh, shit, it was only 9 a.m., too early for my brain to come up with some great parental comeback.
Cut to yesterday afternoon on the way back from the library... "Mom, I really want to marry Ben." I tell my son again that he can't marry his cousin and that I'm sure he'll meet a nice lady that he'll want to marry when he is a grown-up. "Mom, do some boys marry other boys?" WTF.... "You're in preschool, son, get back to me in a couple of years and I'll formulate the correct response."

What the hell is wrong with my kids? Maybe it's all the recent talk of God wanting us to love everyone no matter how different they are. God made everyone and we should all love each other. But, I'll tell you what... as a mother of a 2.5 and almost 5 year old, I don't want to deal with how I'm going to love my transgender/gay kids just yet.

Annoyed that I was annoyed

My son goes to a small preschool which he really likes. I haven't really gotten to know any of the parents because I'm always running in and out... with work commitments, I don't have much time to stand around and chat or plan playdates. He does have one good buddy there who has come over and the mom seems friendly enough. Of course, there is also the problem of me being a total social-phobe.... being the self-absorbed person that I am, I always feel I flub with small-talk and people must think I'm an idiot. Which is why I'm so annoyed that I reacted the way that I did today....
Another mom I haven't seen before was waiting outside for her preschooler and she started calling her little toddler over to her, "Lucas, come here." I went up and said, "Lucas, that's such a nice name. That's my son's name, he's in the blah, blah blah..."
"Oh," she said, "do you spell his name with a 'c'?"
"Yes," I replied.
"Oh, we used a 'k', EVERYONE uses a 'c'." I mumbled something and then turned away annoyed with her comment. So, now I'm everyone and a moron for not being more creative with my son's name?
Anyway, right after I turned away to stare at the preschool door I felt ashamed for feeling annoyed with this totally unoffensive comment. I've said things like that before with people I don't know. You just say something without thinking and then immediately feel like such a dork. I should have turned back to her to talk some more, but I didn't and so now I'm annoyed with myself.

Oops I did it again!

No, I didn't play with your heart, but I did end up at Chuck E. Cheese today and then regretted it as soon as we walked out the door and my son burst into tears because his cheap ass "prize" broke 30 seconds after it was received.
There is a Chuck E. Cheese about a mile from my house. I have been there 5 times now in the last 3.5 years. All of these trips, except for one desperate rainy day, were made because of birthday parties or rewards for potty training. Today was a reward for potty-training for my daughter. She finally kicked the poop-in-your pants habit. We're going on 3 straight days of making it to the potty on time and for the first time in 4 years and 9 months I am diaper free! Yipee! The kids had a fine time at the restaurant and I didn't have a terrible time because the place was deserted and I had a coupon! The problem started when my tired son broke the cheap toy that he won.
He doesn't understand why they hand out crap.

Time lady is gone and why I like fall better than spring

It happened and I missed it. The time lady is no more in Southern California. I knew the end was near, but I thought I had a few more days. I tried to call last night and I was informed that the time lady had already passed on. I'm upset. I have vivid memories of being in my childhood kitchen and calling the time lady on our rotary phone. I don't know why, but sometimes we would listen to her voice for a minute or more. It was familiar, soothing, always there.... Now it's gone.

I love fall and we are having a bit of autumnal weather around So. Cal this week. It is quite early for such weather, but I'll take it even if it only lasts a couple of days. Although there is a chill in the air, fall carries with it some of the warmth left over from summer. I can't describe it except to say that my bones must have socked away some of the summer heat and they slowly release it when an autumn breeze blows.
Spring, on the other hand, carries with it the cold of winter. My bones haven't completely thawed out by the time spring rolls around and those cool spring breezes always leave me chilled. The temperature could be the same in spring and fall, but I would always feel warmer at my core when the leaves are changing (wishful thinking where I live) and the pumpkins are being carved.

Poop training just won't end, church carnivals and poker face

So my daughter simply refuses to poop on the potty. She has pee down pat... she makes it to the potty on time all the time for that. For poop, though, she just won't do it. Give her a favorite pair of underpants and she'll soil them in an instant. Promise her a puppy, trip to McDonald's, any toy in the toy store... on and on and she still won't do it. She knows what she's doing; it's not like she is having "accidents". She'll suddenly disappear and if I hear her door close, I know it's too late. She's quick... I can be in her room 1 second after she shuts the door and she'll say, "Change Me!" Yet if we stick at home for two days, not allowing her to wear pants of any sort, she'll hold it in (sorry, but there's no other way to put it). Then, as soon as we put her to bed with pants or a pullup on, she'll come out of her room 5 minutes later demanding to be changed.
The girl is almost 2.9 years old, for God's sake! My son was potty-trained in 7 days at age 2.5. She's supposed to start preschool in 1 month, but she has to be toilet-trained. If she doesn't go to preschool, I can't work and if I can't work, we can't pay our mortgage (yes, things are getting very tough around the Crouse Haus) and we'll have to move. If we do end up having to sell our house and move to an apartment, should I let her know it is all her fault because she can't sit her butt down on the potty and do what every other normal person does? She speaks in multiple sentences, she can kick my butt at Candyland and Go Fish. What is wrong???

After changing my daughter this afternoon, we went to a carnival held at a local Catholic Church/School. It was the church I grew up attending and I went to their carnival every year. It's been about 15 years since I've attended their carnival and not much has changed. Even the kids look the same. There's the same Cake Walk, rides, baked goods sale, carnival games and, of course, the Knights of Columbus sponsored beer booth:) About the only thing that has changed is the price of tickets for rides. We dropped about $40 just for the kids to go on about 5 rides each. Damn. My parents had 7 kids, so I know they couldn't have afforded that back in the day. The kids had a really fun time, though, and so did I. Amanda ate her weight in cotton candy and Lucas has stains all over his brand new robot shirt from his delicious snow cone. We put $10 in for the raffle of various gift baskets and maybe we'll win something when they do the drawing tomorrow. The experience even made me wonder if myself and the kids aren't missing out on something by not belonging to a church. Sure, I don't agree with many of the teachings, but who can argue with making friends in a community of folks who follow Jesus' teachings.? If only church leaders were a bit more like Jesus, I would readily sign up. If you believe everything you read in the Bible, we should all try to be more like him... if we were, then all the shit going on in the world, wouldn't be going on.

Now we come to the poker face. Apparently I don't have one. We have really taken to playing Go Fish around the Crouse Haus. Everyone in the household can play it, but I, according to Lucas, don't play well. As soon as I draw a card from the pile, he immediately knows whether I got the card I was looking for or not. He says my face gives it all away. Damn, he's only 4.5 and already he kicks my butt at cards!