Spooky house

When you were a kid, was there was always one house in your neighborhood that was spooky? I had that growing up. There was the "Glass House" -- so called because the last name of the owners was Glass. But they also had this CRAZY stained glass front door and the whole place was overgrown and downright spooky. I don't remember ever meeting the owners and on Halloween they always left out a bowl of candy so no one would bother them. We would dare each other to go up to the door to take a treat. I even had some pretty spooky dreams about entering the house and my friends and I would fantasize that they were really vampires.
I think the house across the street from my current abode would qualify as spooky house to neighbhorhood kids. I only have daylight pics, but trust me, it is a bit spooky at night.
The house is apparently in foreclosure -- there are a bunch of families living there and I can't get a straight answer as to who the owner is. They stopped mowing about 4 months ago and there is trash everywhere. I like my house and I think our neighborhood is fine, but this house just jacks things up.
Now I know how my parents must have felt about the Glass House. Us kids loved it because it was mysterious to us, but the grownups in the neighbhorhood must have seen it as a place that was bringing down property values. I've turned into a grownup because part of me just wants to go over and mow the lawn and ask the folks to clean up their driveway.
In any case, the house should be auctioned off soon and I really hope a nice, not too spooky family moves in.

Day at the beach, new roommate and raccoons

Over the long weekend we made the obligatory trip to the beach. We got a bit of a late start and didn't arrive until about 10:30... I thought we were going to be screwed in the parking department, but it turns out that the beach was half empty. Yay for us! The masses showed up much later so we had plenty of time to explore the tidepools and splash in the water. Oh, God, that water was cold. The weather couldn't have been more perfect and it was just such an enjoyable day with the kiddos. It was the first time in 4 years we were at the beach with little equipment and didn't have to change diapers or nurse a baby on the beach. Nice!


Here son was getting buried alive


Daughter found a bunch of hermit crabs in the tidepools

We came home from the beach to welcome my baby sister home. She's going to be hanging at our pad for a few months. She's been up in Seattle for a while now and we are really glad to have her, even though we know she can only tolerate California in small doses. Balz's (baby sis) arrival coincided with the arrival of some unwelcome creatures... raccoons. They seem to hang out in the summer and fall and disappear in the winter. Well, they're back and bigger than ever. They boldy walk up to our back door and walk along our crumbling back wall. They have some possum buddies who also often show up. I don't mind the possum because they don't seem to be very confrontational. But the raccoons... man, they seem to be looking for a fight.

Shrek the Third, The Scarlet Letter and naptime

I woke up this morning and decided that I hadn't spent enough time with the kiddos lately (love the cousins, but I haven't had much alone time with my own), so I decided to let son play hookey from preschool and I played hookey from work. I called up SIL to let her know she wouldn't have to watch my two today and she said, let's all take the kids to see Shrek. Well, I wasn't going to have them see that movie (they haven't seen the first two) because it is PG and I thought it might be a bit too old for them. Well, I decided a movie with SIL and the cousins might be fun so I agreed. The kids were all really good in the movie theater and enjoyed eating too much popcorn and licorice, but I don't know about the movie. I thought it was alright, but a bit too mature for the little ones. Many of the jokes were more for adults and the animation wasn't quite animated enough for a 2 year old. I would recommend it for the 6 and up age range.

Speaking of movies, husband recently put The Scarlet Letter on our queue in Netflix. I haven't seen that movie in years and I read the book even longer ago. It was a really good movie, but it got me thinking... man, would it have sucked to have been a woman back then. Yes, times were more simple and kids had a lot more responsibility at a young age, but us ladies were treated like donkey-shit. Take out the witch trials and the hanging if convicted of adultery and you are still left with half of the population having basically no rights. My husband might have liked it, though, because his smart-ass, free-thinking, pants-wearing wife would have known her place:)

I'm writing this as two children moan and cry about 20 feet away. It's been almost a week since daughter napped and her tantrum-having booty needs a nap so they are both stuck in their rooms until they fall asleep. Since we gave up the binky she doesn't seem able to put herself to sleep at naptime. Also, I have to have both kids sleep together because my baby sister is coming to stay with us for a bit and she is going to be using son's room while she's here (Balz, if you read this, don't feel bad, they actually sleep way better at night when they are in the same room). It truly sucks because by about 4 p.m. daughter is just a screaming mess and by 7:30 I'm ready to drop her off at the orphanage. I try really hard to get into the frame of mind that it's her problem, not mine, when she's having a tantrum. I try to play soothing music in my head and count to ten, but man, it really does get to you after a while. And it's not like it's a once-a-day thing... that I could live with. It's five or six times a day with each tantrum lasting like 15 minutes. And loud, oh, god, she is so freaking loud. I just am about at my wits end. I'm trying really hard to use positive reinforcement and not yell (like my mom did), but I'm not sure what to do next. My son, who has his own moments, was not nearly as volatile when he was her age. I think part of it was that when he was 2, his baby sister was born and I just didn't have the time to deal with any nonsense from him, so he quickly adapted. I need an infant on loan for about 6 months just so daughter knows she's not #1 any more.

binkys, stray cats and positive reinforcement

We said goodbye to daughter's binky yesterday and it has been hell around the Crouse Haus ever since. Although son can be a sissy (I can say that because he won't read this) about the small stuff in life, he has always been good about major changes. Giving up his binky at age 2, no big deal, moving to a big kid bed, cool, potty-training, no sweat, introduce a baby sister to the family, love it. All of the major things have been SO easy with him. Daughter is quite the opposite. She's so tough when it comes to a scraped knee or missing a turn in Candyland, but take away a girl's binky, you're in for trouble. I rue the day I forced the binky upon her. She didn't get one right away and was a champion nurser, but she was too good. The girl wanted to be latched onto me 24 hours a day. I had a 2 year old to entertain, so when she was about a month old I introduced her to one of her best friends (her absolute best friend is her "piggy" which cannot be replaced and I will never take away). She didn't want the thing at first but she finally agreed and has rarely been seen without it in the past 2 years.
We went for her first dental visit a couple of months ago and Dr. "B" said it was time for the binky to go unless we want to face lots of cash for orthodontic procedures in the future.
Yesterday we told daughter that if she wanted to mail her binkys to the "Binky Fairy" to give to new babies then she would be rewarded with a big-girl toy from the toy store. She agreed through tears. We mailed the things off and she picked a lame toy.
Yesterday went OK, with only a few requests for "binky-bink". She finally fell asleep last night but woke everyone up howling at about 1 a.m Husband has absolutely no patience for such nonsense so I banished him to the couch and daughter "slept" with me. She actually kept me up most of the night. Today was very tough for everyone. Son was seen most of the day with his hands over his ears because he was tired of his sister's screaming. It tried me a bit, but husband more. We had a huge row (can I say that if I'm not English?) and I am glad he is going to work tomorrow.
Tonight went OK... they are both sleeping now and I hope there won't be a repeat of tomorrow. But in case there is, I'm making up the fold-up couch now for husband.


We have a cat that is now hanging out in our yard and husband is trying his darndest to make this stray a part of the family. The cat has a slight limp, which is improving, and looks seriously malnourished. When the animal first started coming around last week, husband left some milk out for it. He stepped it up a notch yesterday and purchased cat food and cat treats... Cat food for God's sake! If there is one animal I don't want, it's a cat. I wish this animal no ill will. I'm not an animal-hater, but I don't do litter boxes and I don't agree with outside cats because all of the cats in the neighborhood already do their business in my yard and it grosses me out! Anyway, the kids are thrilled and love seeing the cat in the morning in the yard and feeding it with Daddy in the evenings. I'm going to make up flyers tomorrow and paste them around the neighborhood. I don't want to take it to the animal shelter because chances are that it will be euthanized and I don't want that on my conscience.

I'm looking for advice for positive reinforcement for preschoolers. My sis-in-law and I trade off childcare these days. She watches mine 2 days a week so I can get in a full day of work those days and I watch hers on three so she can go off to help support her family. In theory it works out well and we don't have to pay for childcare and all that. My son is in preschool for 9 hours a week and her daughter is in kindergarten, so it's not too bad. But most afternoons I have four children ages 5, 4, 3, and 2 running amok in the house. All the while I'm trying to potty-train, keep the house somewhat orderly and keep the kids stimulated without television. The kids have been hard of hearing lately and a bit disrespectful in both houses. Sis-in-law and I want to implement some reward charts for the kids and I'm trying to come up with good behavior to reward for these ages. Any ideas on what you do to give your kids incentives to be good citizens would be appreciated. We're not going to reward with toys because they are already so spoiled it is CRAZY (that is probably part of the problem and something I'm working on) but will probably reward with trips to the zoo or beach or something.

15 year reunion and wating more

Saturday night was a night I had been nervous about for a couple of weeks. It was my 15th high school reunion. I went to lunch with an old friend a few days before the reunion -- she wasn't going to attend -- and she asked me, "why do you want to go? Didn't we hate high school?" That question made me stop and think. Yes, for the most part high school was painful for me. I had a couple of close friends and was a good student but high school definitely wasn't for me. I was, and still am, painfully shy. I've diagnosed myself with social phobia and working at my job for 12 years has only seemed to cause this social phobia to get worse -- I work on the computer, from home and don't see any of our customers.
Why would I want to go back? I guess the reason was that I wanted to prove to myself that I could do it. I wanted to walk up to someone I didn't really know and strike up a conversation. And I did it. It was painful and it required 2 glasses of wine, but I mingled with a couple of old classmates that I hadn't really known 15 years ago. Did I have a good time? No, but I'm glad I went. If I gained anything from the experience it was the knowledge that talking with another human being won't cause me to die and heck, the person I'm talking with probably won't just walk away from me while I'm in midsentence.
I also learned, from my a friend's husband, that my shyness isn't obvious to the world as I always assumed. He was shocked to hear that I considered myself socially awkward.
Well, I won't go out and make a bunch of new friends while at the park with the kids, I might be a little less hesitant to strike up a conversation with another mom.

OK, folks, I want out to Southern California. Less than a year ago I talked my husband into moving into a slightly bigger house in a neighboring city. We didn't need to move but I was convinced that living in this city would help me meet other parents and help the isolation I feel working from home with the kids. We now live in a house I love (although it is old and needs work we haven't the money for) in a great neighborhood. We can walk to most all shopping and services we need and we are surrounded by great parks. The schools in the area are supposed to be good and the city is very safe. I'm about 25 minutes from the beach and the weather is great. What the hell else could I want? Well, now I'm thinking I made a bad decision. We are strapped with a huge mortgage that forces me to continue at my job and doesn't leave any savings for fixing up the house, which really needs fixing up. The city we live in is only about 10 minutes from where I grew up. I hated it as a teen... living in an upper middle-class area when my family was always struggling even to buy clothes at Sears. I felt like an outcast and that other kids were so materialistic. It is still that way here. You should see the outfits that the 5 year olds wear here. For Mother's Day my husband treated me to a manicure -- the only other manicure I've had was before my wedding, so it was a real treat. When I went to the nail place, there were like 6 or 7 young girls in there getting mani/pedis. I'm talking 8 year old girls, for God's sake!
I find I'm wasting time in the evening, time that should be spent writing, looking on the computer at property in Washington State. My little sis lives up there and it just looks beautiful. I have visions of a house on an acre or more of land where my little ones can run free. They would have places to climb trees and explore, something they can't do here. I daydream of the two of them going out on a summer afternoon and exploring and using their imaginations to conjure up all sorts of adventures. They only get one childhood and I want more for them than I feel they'll get here. Husband is not on the same page as me and I feel like a bitch even approaching the subject since it was me who put us in this house in the first place. Who am I to ask for more when there are billions of people in the world who will never even have what I have now?
Anyway, I'm obsessed and I've got to do something. Either shelve the idea completely so I can focus my attention on my wonderful family, or stop being a pussy and just tell husband what I want to do. Poor man. He married a woman to whom the grass is always greener.

**update: Apparently my sister thinks I was drunk when I wrote this. Of course there is the obvious misspelling in the title, which I didn't catch. No, I wasn't drunk this morning, just dog tired and had a lot on my mind. Also the grammar is less than stellar -- not that it is ever that great when I'm just writing off the cuff. Also, I'm lazy and don't usually read my posts before I post them. That'll teach me. Thanks, Balz!

Case of the Monday's

Beware, there are references to preschooler poop in this post. I'm only sharing it to perhaps scare my little sis:)
I ended the evening at Chuck E Cheese with my kids. Not somewhere I usually go unless it's a birthday party my son really wants to go to. Otherwise, let's just say I'm not a Chuck E. Cheese kind of gal. Heck, I don't even let my kids go in the play area at McDonald's. So there I was, sitting at this place, eating cardboard pizza and wishing I could order one beer with my meal... alas, I was alone (husband jogging at home) and so I couldn't induldge. Why were we there? Daughter filled up her potty chart and this was her wish. To be honest, I think son had something to do with it.

I'll let you in on how she filled in that last square on the potty chart. It ended with a poop, but not in the usual celebratory manner. We had just arrived home from dropping boy and girl cousin off and I was bringing in the trash cans when daughter runs up to me and says, "poop!" That means, "get me to the bathroom now, mother, if you don't want me to soil these nice new underpants!"
I whisked her off to the bathroom and realized son was still out in the front yard. We live on a tiny cul-de-sac but even in this city they can't hang out alone. So I left daughter with a book on the potty and went to retrieve son. I couldn't have been more than 2 minutes -- I might have stopped to prop scooters and tricycles up against the side of the house instead of blocking the walkway -- when I heard daughter laughing and saying, "I did it, I did it!" I was excited for about 5 seconds and then I saw her. She walked out onto the front door with no pants on and poop all over her leg. I quickly picked her up and headed into the bathroom to survey the damage. It wasn't pretty, folks. I called for son and then cleaned up daughter and dropped her in the bath. I cleaned up the mess while she happily played in the bubbles, all the while singing that she was going to Chuck E. Cheese because she pooped on the potty.
That is how I ended up at that god forsaken place on a Monday night.

It wasn't my dream end to a nightmarish afternoon. The morning went all right with the little ones around, but by afternoon all four of them where a whining, fighting mess. They were in and out of the house because it was so hot today. They would go from happily splashing in the water to crying that someone splashed them. They were tracking dirt and grime everywhere they went. After snack I was cleaning one child while two others were happily smearing yogurt and grahamn cracker mush all over my walls and sofa. UGH! The house has now been cleaned up a bit, but not entirely. And it all starts again tomorrow. Hopefully not as early as today (5:30).
Oh, I hope Tuesday has more to offer me than Monday did.

Carnival fun and ditched by husband

Only a few more years til she gets her own pink car


Luc was a natural at bumping into his cousin and sister.

We headed over to Conejo Valley Days today -- it is a local carnival that comes to town every May. I've been going since I was 12 or so. It is so fun to now take my own kids! It is a little tough on the pocketbook, these days, though. $3.00 for one dart to pop a balloon?
We met grandma and cousin Julia over there and Julia had fun going on some rides with Lucas. It was a gorgeous day our and there were lots of families with young kids... a much different crowd comes out at night. That is when I used to go as a punky teen and now I avoid the night carnival like the plague.


Fun Apple ride with Luc, Julia, Amanda and me!


After returning home husband packed up and left. OK, so he didn't leave for good, but he headed down to O.C. to celebrate Cinco de Mayo with some friends. I opted out because I don't care to watch "the fight" or drink too many Dos Equis and then have to care for the kiddos tomorrow.
Since we just have the one car now, he had to rent a car. He chose a convertible, damn him. On this gorgeous day my husband is now cruising down south and getting a tan:)
I hope he has a good time, and I really hope son and daughter wake up from their naps in a good mood. We're going to have dinner at my mom's and then we'll have movie and ice-cream sundae night back here! Yipee!

Waste of time and money

They knew it was a waste of time from the beginning. And while people are hungry and homeless in our own country they continued to waste our tax dollars by passing a bill they knew would be vetoed. Why did they do this? Campaigning for the next election of course! Now they can go on the record to their constituents and say, "look what we tried to do, but the other side fought us. Vote for us!"
I am so fed up with both sides of the political aisle at this point. Disgusted that while the democratic majority congress is stuck with a stubborn "bleep" for the next 18 months they refuse to do the best they can with what they've got. Instead they are wasting our time and money by passing a bill that won't be signed. Our soldiers are dying, many more Iraqis are dying and no one is doing a damn thing about it. Sure, they act like "oh, we wanted to pass this spending bill, but the president is an idiot and won't sign it." Well, crackheads, you knew he wouldn't sign it so why not stop playing games and get to work on something he will sign. You aren't going to change him. I don't like him any more than you do, but I want to see you do something!
Oh, I'm enraged. I don't know who the hell I'll vote for in the next election because I'm so disgusted with everyone in Washington. The sad thing is, even if someone trustworthy and "real" came along, I probably wouldn't notice him or her because I'm so cynical. You jerks in government have taken all that was good about our country and shat on it and now it's not so good anymore.

Another day, another tantrum and I'm a Greek!

Daughter is showing her 2-year-old colors lately. Yesterday and today have been particularly difficult. The girl yells and cries about EVERYTHING. The smallest thing can set her off -- like not getting her doll's shoes on or not getting to sit in the blue carseat because cousin got there first. It's not a little whine or gentle tears... it's like world war III around here. I've noted before that her volume control is broken and only works on the highest setting. I was so frustrated today that I told her I was going to drop her off at the zoo because she was being a bad little monkey. Well, that didn't go over so well:)
I was half hoping that she might be sick or something... anything to explain this frustrating behavior. But she is sleeping well and eating well, so I don't think a $40 visit to the doctor is warranted. I am trying to help her through her frustrations, but I don't know if I'm doing more harm than good. Husband thinks I should totally ignore her (easy for him to say from the comfort of his office) but I feel that she needs some comfort and extra love to show her that it's OK to be 2 and to feel a bit out of control. God knows I feel out of control about 70% of the time.

In her happier moments, daughter has taken to calling me "Greek". The only explanation I can come up with is that she was trying to call me a geek, but once she said Greek, it sort of stuck. So she'll tell me she's hungry and I'll say, "we'll have a snack in a little while" and she'll reply, "Okay, Greek." She is adding this new nickname for me all the time now. If I tell her something she'll simply reply, "Yes, Greek" or "fine, Greek". I tried to tell her that my grandparents are Irish and husband is most likely of German or Swedish heritiage (he's adopted) and that our family has been American for a two generations. She doesn't seem to care.
Greece is on the top of my list of places to visit if we ever get a chance to leave this continent.

Love our weather

This week we have had unbelievably gorgeous weather here in So. Cal. The kids and I are walking everywhere and they've been having such fun playing with water in the backyard. A few buckets, some cups and water go a long way with preschoolers. Now if I only had the energy to spruce up the backyard a bit....

New day and shirtsleeves

OK... so I promised to post about yesterday's chaos to compare it to the previous day. But I've changed my mind. Why dwell on it? Sure, there are days where everyone is out of control and the house seems trashed, but I think I'd rather pick up and move on.

I think I'll gripe about something else instead -- my husband's shirts.
I love my husband dearly and he is a great father, but I wish the man would freaking unroll his shirtsleeves before he puts his shirts in the hamper! I've mentioned it to him before and he complied for about 5 days before he went back to his old habits. It probably takes me an extra 5 seconds to unroll the sleeves but it's more what those rolled sleeves represent. When I'm having a particularly tough day and feeling overwhelmed with work and then the constant work of caring for the household duties and kids, those sleeves can throw me over the edge. I start thinking to myself, "he doesn't respect my time and all the work I do around here... blah, blah,blah!"
Oh, man, I have have some crazy fights with him in my head. But those feelings have usually subsided by the time he gets home from work and I realize that he could very well be thinking "I can't believe she went out and bought more plants today. I work hard for our money and I need some new shirts."

Serenity and Chaos

Two days. Same set of kids. Two completely different outcomes. Beware... boring play-by-play of day's events.
Yesterday was just about as perfect as it could get. Kids woke up and ate breakfast and complied with getting dressed. We made it to son's preschool on time and daughter and I headed to pick up cousin Ben. Ben seemed a bit pouty, but I just kept joking with him and pushing his buttons until he decided to lighten up. We headed out to my mom's for a visit and to drop off some old baby clothes for a sis-in-law. Took my mom's dog for a walk, grabbed a coffee and had a nice visit. Then Amanda, Ben and I went to get my car washed. Kids were angelic and enjoyed playing near the fountain at the car wash. We then headed to a local Mexican restaurant (I use the term lightly because it is very Americanized Mexican food) and both kids ate their meals and left little mess.
We then dropped by the preschool for Lucas pickup and the kids had fun running around the grassy area. Nap time was up next and even Lucas decided to partake in the nap. We didn't have to get girl cousin because she had a date with her mom.
Kids woke up from nap... they had a somewhat healthy snack outside and then they had a blast playing in the water out back for close to an hour. Sis-in-law came to collect boy cousin about
4 p.m. and then Lucas, Amanda and I walked down to the market to stock up on band-aids. Lucas walked the mile in each direction without even one complaint. We headed home and they got to watch and episode of Scooby-Doo while I made homemade pizza and salad and they ate heartily. Husband appeared about 6:30 and then quickly disappeared for his jog so the kids and I headed out to the library. We picked out some books and videos and checkout was a non-event. Came home, read some books, colored a bit and the kids hit the hay. I cleaned up the kitchen, answered a few emails and then sat and watched Lost with husband and enjoyed an Amstel Light.
How much better can it get. I had high hopes for today.
I'll be back later for the play-by-play and maybe you have some answers as to where I went wrong.

Jogging and old friend found Jesus... was he lost?

I'm up to jogging about 3 evenings a week on the treadmill! Thanks Husband!
We trade off nights to jog and it is working out well, so far. My mood has already improved and Husband even said I seem less cranky:)

I recently got in touch with an old friend. We met when we were 11 and when we were about 22 we totally lost touch. She got married and had a child at age 21 and I was off moving around the country. As I've mentioned before, my 15 year high school reunion is coming up and that is how she found me. We finally spoke yesterday for the first time in like 11 years! I won't go into detail about her former self... but she was a "party girl" with a good heart. She is still married to the same man and they have both "found the word" or went back to the Lord... I can't remember what she said exactly because I was knocked to the floor with her constant talk of the Bible and Jesus. I've written briefly here about my own struggles with religion and trying to find my way. I admit I'm confused and often searching for something to believe in. I am so happy that she has found peace and fulfillment with her church but I can't help thinking that we will find little common ground now. She talked about her friends who aren't on the same path as her and said that their problems in life stem from the fact that they aren't following Jesus' teachings. I do have a problem with that. Any religion that I do decide to bring to my children (if I do) would have to be accepting and believing that God doesn't punish those who don't believe a certain way. I am for gay rights, women's rights, and mostly a liberal point of view. I wouldn't teach my children that other kids are suffering because their parents don't read the Bible. Anyway, I hope that this old friendship can become a new friendship because I really need a good friend now. I'm lonely for the friendship women share and at times feel almost desparate to be able to hang out with some girls. But that's for another post.

In-law visit and old stomping grounds

I'll start this post off by saying that I couldn't ask for better in-laws. I've finally started accepting that they really do like me and GD, they love my kids. They are the most accepting, loving people. They are willing to help out in any capacity if only I could learn how to ask for help.
The O.C. Crouses headed up Friday afternoon and the kids were ready -- it's only been a few weeks since their last visit, so not enough time for the kids to have forgotten how much they love the grandparents Crouse. On Saturday afternoon we headed to the local Arbor Day festival and we ran into the kids' pediatrician. We love her! But it was strange seeing her outside her office -- it's like when I was a kid and I saw a teacher in a store or something.... you mean they don't live in the classroom!!!

The grandparents only got on my nerves only a tad and there weren't too many comments like, "didn't mommy bring your sweater" or, during a diaper change where daughter fussses, "is mommy hurting you." Yeah, those sort of things get to me. There are some other little things that irk me, but I'm beginning to realize that these things are my problem -- my pettiness or crankiness -- and nothing I should complain about.

Husband and I got a little time off Saturday and we headed to a restaurant we used to frequent back in pre-kid days. We lingered over a long dinner and a glass of wine. While it seemed like a long dinner at the time, we looked at our watch and it had only been like 45 minutes. We realized the kids wouldn't even be in bed yet and we better find something else to do. It's funny, once you have kids, any mealtime that involves more than 20 minutes of continuous sitting is a long meal. We weren't quite sure what to do in our quiet town and then I suggested heading over to the good 'ole Crown and Anchor. It's a British Pub that we used to go to in our youth:)
It hasn't changed much, even the kids in there are still the same age we were 6 or 7 years ago. Only Husband and I seem to have gotten older. We grabbed a pint and settled into the cozy bar. We mostly enjoyed watching our former selves. It was really creepy and cool. To think that used to be us on many Saturday nights... enjoying one too many pints, heading outside for smoke, acting cool around the guys (me) or seeming nonchalant around the ladies (husband). It now seems so boring and my life with the kids and a quiet evening at home with Husband is so much more exciting and fulfilling. Gawd I'm old!

My birthday and vision test

I can't see what I'm typing right now so we'll see if those high school typing classes paid off.

Along with being the day of my birth, April 19 is also the day the revolutionay war started with the Battle of Lexington. I've always been proud to share my day with such a moment in our nation's history -- ever since I was little I felt like I was somehow special because of my birthday and the birth of our nation. Crazy, I know, but a kid has got to find some reason to feel special.
I am saddened to see where our nation is now more than 130 years later.

Before I turned 30 all birthdays were depressing to me. I didn't want to get older. Once I hit the big one, though, it hasn't seemed like such a big deal. So I'm 33, what's the big deal? Day started off with husband going out for doughnuts. Bless his heart, I can't seem to convince him that I hate eating doughnuts for breakfast. I don't think I've felt good about eating a doughnut since I was a little kid. But he doesn't get it and it's his way of saying he loves me because the man can't cook. So, I ate a doughnut and felt like hell the rest of the morning.
I took the day off work and the kids and I met my mom for lunch. They were well behaved and ate nothing but french fries and canteloupe. We headed over to sis-in-law's house and the wonderwoman had baked me a carrot cake (my fav).. Sis-in-law is an awesome mom, a fabulous cook and baker and she is always doing things for other people. God bless her! But she has such a hard time letting people do things for her.
Anyway, if you ever meet her you'll want to be her friend.

I left my kids with sis-in-law and headed over to my first adult eye appointment. I've been feeling like my vision when driving isn't so great so I thought I better get checked out since I carry precious cargo. Turns out my eyes are perfect and the problem is that I work on the computer all day and my eyes just need a little tlc -- eye drops.
Can't wait to see my doctor bill!
The good doctor (he really is) dilated my eyes and it is freaky.
I don't have the kids this afternoon because sis-in-law is going to watch them so hubby and I can go and have sushi after he gets home from work. So here I am with about 2 hours of time where I could write or read and I can't do either (except write this post, which probably will be filled with errors.)
I can't watch television, not that I'd want to. But what is a person with a mind that doesn't stop supposed to do without vision. I guess I can go and clean the house since mom and dad-in-law are coming for a visit tomorrow.
Not my idea of "me time" but I guess the bathtubs are calling.

They say the strangest things

Husband and I are refinancing our home loan right now (fun!) and the travelling notary came over this evening to have us sign away our lives. The crazy thing is that our son and daughter will be the same age as husband and I, respectively, when we pay off our house. Ack!
Anyway, the woman walked in as we were finishing up dinner and son went to greet her. He turned to me and said, "Mommy, is that grandma?"
I don't think she heard and I quickly shooed him into the other room.
This woman is younger than me -- so she's like 20 -- so I don't have any idea why he would ask such a strange question. She doesn't look anything like either of his grandmas.

We got some bad news today... my younger sister's dog, who has lived with my brother and his wife for the past 6 years (long story) has cancer. I see Sunshine a few times a week and he is a great dog. He loves my brother and gets severly depressed if Tom has to leave for any amount of time. The poor dog has a tumor the size of a bowling ball on his spleen. The vet is thinking that the cancer might not have spread so he's going to remove the spleen and hopefully Sunshine will be with us for a few more years. I hope.
My sister-in-law is now calling Sunshine her "bathroom dog". She had saved up a bit of cash to redo one of her bathrooms and now this surgery will deplete most of those funds. But it's a small price to pay for a loyal friend.

Son is starving and lilac splurge

Since day one my son has never been a big eater. He just never seemed to interested in food and even if you gave him some chocolate, he might take a bite and say, "I'll save the rest for later."
Daughter is the exact opposite and has been a hungry girl since day one -- give her a king size candy bar (not that I have) and I'm sure she would try her best to polish it off.
This all changed over the past month or so. The child is hungry from morning until bed -- and often complains of hunger even as we're tucking him in. It is so difficult because he doesn't want to sit down and eat a large amount, he just wants to nibble all day long. I am going out of my mind because I feel like his slave trapped in the kitchen or forced to prepare snacks all day.
I can find healthy things he'll eat, but then that means that the dinner I've planned will only be touched a bit and then 40 minutes later he'll be wanting another snack. He's gone from eating about 5 times a day (3 meals and 2 snacks) to eating about 8 times a day.
Husband is type 1 diabetic, so we were a little worried about this. Although son hasn't been extremely thirsty, hunger is one sign. We took him in to the doc, who said it was probably just a growth spurt but tested him anyway -- blood sugar was good.
In any case, I hope this ends soon. When he is a teenager and tries to eat us out of house and home that will be fine because he can prepare his own snacks and clean up after himself.

I'm writing this while dinner is in the oven and the kids are listening to a book on tape. My son has said that he is hungry about 5 times. I've given him about a cup of cottage cheese to hold him off til dinner comes out and he polished that off quickly. He just said he's still hungry and I swear, it's like nails on a chalkboard when he says that now. I just want to scream, "what do you want me to do about it? Dinner is in the oven!" I'm confused over why I am getting so irritated when he constantly informs me about his hunger. I must be feeling frustrated because I'm constantly preparing food for people in this house and then cleaning up after everyone all day long -- with the addition of neice and nephew three days a week, it can become a bit much. I guess it's just one of those days and I'll be glad when husband gets home and I can go and escape to the treadmill.

Well, shit, I was going to write about the beautiful lilac I bought this afternoon but now I'm too annoyed to write about anything pretty.

Death of the nap and momma can jog

I knew the end was near but I didn't want to admit it. It's been coming for about 6 months now but I tried to ignore it. Yes, son's nap is no more. OK, so my friends tell me I am freaking lucky to have gotten almost 4.5 years of naps out of the kid, but now I have lost about an hour and a half of work that I used to get done during the day. This past week has been difficult because my workload is large and son decided that sleeping during the day is for sissys (that would be sisters). Son is one who usually needs a playmate in order to play. This is so unlike my daughter who I can forget about because she'll go hang out in her room and "read" books, play with her dollhouse or color for long periods at a time. Son prefers that I actively play with him. I do try to do this for a few set blocks of time during the day, but man, I've got to work.
I'm going to have to insist on a hour of quiet time in his room each day, but I feel so guilty about this. But I figure, I already feel guilty about everything else, so what's one more item on my list.

Before I had children I worked out religiously. It was 5 times a week and I really enjoyed being fit and I figured that maybe it was cancelling out some of my vices (wine and smokes). I gave up the vices, along with the exercise. I worked out until I was 8 months pregnant with son. Although I dropped my pg weight quickly, it took a lot longer for me to get back on the fitness track. And then after daughter was conceived, well, let's just say the only exercise I get is running after the kids or walking to the store or park. Husband is good about getting on the treadmill a few times a week but I just can't find the energy or the time. Today I had the time and I did it. Yep, I hopped on that treadmill and it felt good. I walked/ran a 5K and my time was abyssmal but that's OK... it's been almost three years since I did that. My 15 year reunion is in just a month and my goal is to be up to at least 4 days of treadmill time by then.

Mommy needs a nap and son likes broccoli

This afternoon I dragged the kiddos to the fancy part of town to leave some papers with our accountant. I was feeling a bit sluggish and my daughter picked up on my yawns from her carseat. She said, "you tired mommy?" I said that I was, to which she replied, "mommy, you need a nap." "Yes, I do," I said, "but who is going to watch you and your brother while I nap." Son said that Dad could watch them, but I reminded him that Dad was still at work. So I asked again who could watch them and son replied, "Well, we could just call 911."
We've been talking with him recently about what to do in emergency situations and showing him how to use the phone if he needs to call someone. I guess we need to do a bit more work.

The accountant has a nice office overlooking a local lake. Husband and I used to go there a lot with son to have lunch and walk around to see the ducks. It was cheap, peaceful fun. The kids had a great time watching the ducks, pretending to fish and trying to break open their heads while rock climbing.

With all of the running around the kids worked up a good appetite. I served up dinner and they ate happily. Son started to eye the broccoli on my plate and he asked for some. I had to surpress the urge to do a flip over the table and I calmly gave him a few pieces. He ate them up and asked for more, saying, "Broccoli is my favorite vegetable."
Um... since when? I used to offer it to him all the time when he was a toddler -- you know, the rule to put something on a kid's plate 15 times and they'll eventually try it. Well, that never worked out so well. But tonight was a success and I'm stoked. I love broccoli and eat it a few times a week. Let's see if daughter follows brother's lead.

A night out with Terry Gross

So last September or October my local public ration station (which I love) was holding its fall membership drive. I have a love/hate relationship with the membership drive. I usually renew my membership early in the drive and then later on they start offering cool gifts to donors and I'm like, "damn, I should have waited because I could really use a bottle of wine, a new book or cool t-shirt."
Last fall, after I had renewed, they said they were giving donors the opportunity at early ticket sales for Terry Gross (host of Fresh Air) who was coming to my town. I was sad that I missed a chance to get a first chance at tickets. I love Fresh Air, so I really thought tickets would sell out quickly. I mentioned this to my husband but he didn't say much about it.
On Christmas '06 he surprised me with tickets to the show. I was like, "what, they didn't sell out? Cool!"
The show was this evening and I was a little dismayed when listening to kclu today to hear that there were still tickets available. Then I remembered that I live in a fairly conservtive city.
Anyway, husband and I were excited for an entertaining night out -- something that doesn't happen much here in the suburbs. Mom came over early to watch the kiddos and husband and I had a chance to enjoy a plastic cup of wine before the show.
It was great. I had heard many of the interviews that she played clips from (like the one where she interviewed Bill O'Reilly) but it was interesting to get more of what she was thinking at the time.
I think part of the reason I really love Terry Gross is that she admits to having been a shy person when she started in radio. I'm a total social-phobe and to hear someone who sort of overcame that and is now an awesome interviewer gives me hope.
The crazy thing is she has been doing Fresh Air since I was still in diapers (I was 1 when the show started as a local program).
Anyway, I'm still feeling high off of an evening out, two cups of wine and seeing someone I admire up close.
To sum up, support your local public radio.